While doing some research on family ministry, I came across an article written by the seventeenth century English Puritan Rev. Thomas Doolittle. The article was entitled “7 Reasons Families Should Pray.” I think you will find the reasons Doolittle gives for families praying together very relevant to our lives today. Here are the seven reasons:
REASON 1: Because we receive every day family-mercies from the hand of God. He loads us daily with His benefits (Psa. 68:9).
REASON 2: You should pray to God daily in your families, because there are sins committed every day in your families.
REASON 3: You should pray in your families daily unto God, because you have many daily family-wants, which none can supply but God.
REASON 4: You should pray in your families daily because of your families' daily employments and labors. Every one that puts his hand to work, his head to contrive, should set his heart to pray.
REASON 5: You should pray to God in your families daily, because you are all every day liable to temptations. As soon as you wake, the devil will be striving for your first thoughts.
REASON 6: You should pray in your families daily because all in your families are liable to daily hazards, casualties, and afflictions. And prayer might prevent them, or obtain strength to bear them, and prepare you for them.
REASON 7: You must pray to God in your families daily, or the very Heathen will rise up against you Christians and condemn you.
Could anyone say, after reading these seven reasons for family prayer, that it should not be one of the most important activities of family life? I would even say that if you are not currently having family devotions, at least take time to pray together before everyone heads out in different directions. This typically won’t take a great deal of time but it has huge benefits.
Here are some pointers for leading effective prayer time in your home:
Keep it social - Take time to allow each family member to share their personal prayer requests. Even smaller children can articulate their concerns.
Keep it reverent - Don’t allow silliness during prayer time or requests that are not truly heartfelt.
Keep it brief - Remember, your children have short attention spans so many times one sentence prayers for each request is sufficient.
Keep it focused - I have found using a guide for prayer such as A.C.T.S. (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication) can be a useful tool for keeping prayers focused and inclusive of important elements. I often use Praise, Thanksgiving, Confession, Intercession, and Supplication as a guide to my prayers.
Keep it instructional - You are modeling prayer for your children, and they are learning from you how to pray.
Keep it current - Track weekly requests and take time to praise God for answered prayer.
My prayer is that these pointers, and Rev. Doolittle’s seven reasons for family prayer, will challenge you to begin a daily prayer time with your family. If you are already doing this, may they serve as an encouragement to you.
David
Thursday, August 28
The Importance of Family Prayer
Monday, August 25
Parenting With Purpose
Proverbs 22:6 is arguably the best known verse in the Bible on raising children. It says in the ESV, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” It also may be one of the most misapplied verses as well. When I was a young parent and a relatively new Christian, I remember thinking this verse was a promise I could hang my hat on. I believed it was telling me that if I raised my children to walk in God’s way I could rest assured that they would grow up to be godly, well behaved, and productive Christians. I even acknowledged that they might possibly stray some day but, I believed it would only be for a short time before returning to the right path.
Now, as a more mature Christian and better experienced parent, I realize that even our best parenting efforts sometimes do not produce the desired results in our children. So, I was left to answer the question, is Proverbs 22:6 misleading or, do I just need to better understand the nature of a proverb? One commentator I read helped shed some light by explaining, “A proverb is a literary device whereby a general truth is brought to bear on a specific situation. Many of the proverbs are not absolute guarantees for they express truths that are necessarily conditioned by prevailing circumstances.” In other words, a proverb is not a promise. It simply offers practical wisdom about the usual effects of certain actions and attitudes in specific situations.
I do not draw attention to this proverb to discourage parents. Rather, I believe it helps us step back for a moment and evaluate the underlying motive behind our parenting efforts. If raising children that will behave, show respect, and not cause us grief is the primary reason we follow biblical parenting principles, our motives need to be readjusted.
Why should we follow God’s direction to “raise up a child in the way he should go” or to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”? (Eph. 6:4) What should be our primary motive? First and foremost, it should be that God receive glory from our obedience to His instructions and commands. When we, in surrender and obedience, faithfully fulfill the role God has given us as Christian parents, His name is honored. If we do it simply because we might receive the blessing of well-behaved children, it reveals we are seeking God’s gifts rather than His glory.
Wanting to see our children grow up to be godly young men and women is not a bad motive. Wanting peace in our homes that stem from obedient and respectful children is not a bad motive. However, these should always be secondary motives. In addition, when we have God’s glory as our primary motivation, it helps us understand that He is in control of the results anyway. It takes the pressure off of us to produce the results only He can produce. Also, He may choose to use the pain stemming from a rebellious child to further conform us to the likeness of Christ. I hope you see that opportunities abound in child-rearing for God to reveal himself to you and to show Himself faithful in your life.
My closing word here is to follow hard after God as you parent, seek to glorify Him in all that you do, and then trust Him with the results. By doing this you will live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
David
Now, as a more mature Christian and better experienced parent, I realize that even our best parenting efforts sometimes do not produce the desired results in our children. So, I was left to answer the question, is Proverbs 22:6 misleading or, do I just need to better understand the nature of a proverb? One commentator I read helped shed some light by explaining, “A proverb is a literary device whereby a general truth is brought to bear on a specific situation. Many of the proverbs are not absolute guarantees for they express truths that are necessarily conditioned by prevailing circumstances.” In other words, a proverb is not a promise. It simply offers practical wisdom about the usual effects of certain actions and attitudes in specific situations.
I do not draw attention to this proverb to discourage parents. Rather, I believe it helps us step back for a moment and evaluate the underlying motive behind our parenting efforts. If raising children that will behave, show respect, and not cause us grief is the primary reason we follow biblical parenting principles, our motives need to be readjusted.
Why should we follow God’s direction to “raise up a child in the way he should go” or to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”? (Eph. 6:4) What should be our primary motive? First and foremost, it should be that God receive glory from our obedience to His instructions and commands. When we, in surrender and obedience, faithfully fulfill the role God has given us as Christian parents, His name is honored. If we do it simply because we might receive the blessing of well-behaved children, it reveals we are seeking God’s gifts rather than His glory.
Wanting to see our children grow up to be godly young men and women is not a bad motive. Wanting peace in our homes that stem from obedient and respectful children is not a bad motive. However, these should always be secondary motives. In addition, when we have God’s glory as our primary motivation, it helps us understand that He is in control of the results anyway. It takes the pressure off of us to produce the results only He can produce. Also, He may choose to use the pain stemming from a rebellious child to further conform us to the likeness of Christ. I hope you see that opportunities abound in child-rearing for God to reveal himself to you and to show Himself faithful in your life.
My closing word here is to follow hard after God as you parent, seek to glorify Him in all that you do, and then trust Him with the results. By doing this you will live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
David
Thursday, August 21
A Challenge to Men
Before I begin, I want to acknowledge that there are many men at First Baptist Church that are faithfully fulfilling their role as the spiritual leader of their home. They take their God-given responsibilities seriously and, in His power, seek to honor Him through their obedience. For this, I am very thankful!
However, as we embark on this journey to become family focused, I feel it is important that I throw out a challenge to the fathers and husbands who consistently neglect their leadership role. The challenge is to stand up and become the Spirit-filled leader of your home! God has commanded it of you and your family needs it from you. This is an unambiguous issue that calls for either obedience or disobedience. As Pastor Phil said in his sermon Sunday night, “Partial obedience is disobedience; to delay is disobedience; selective obedience is not obedience at all, it is only convenience.” So, unless you have made a settled decision to be disobedient to God, you do not have a choice in the matter.
During my years of ministering to families, men have given me scores of reasons for neglecting their role as spiritual leader of their home. Their number one excuse is that they feel inadequate. Any man who reads the Bible enough to know what God requires of husbands and fathers ought to feel inadequate. Men are commanded in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her., In Ephesians 6:4 Paul says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These two verses alone should reveal to a man that unless he is totally dependent upon the power of the Holy Spirit and the resources He provides, he will be a complete failure at this task!
What does it mean to be the spiritual leader of your home? It means you consistently provide a godly example for your family to follow. In your personal walk with the Lord and in your relationship with them, you model what it means to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). You model sacrificial love and putting the needs of others first (Phil. 2:3-4). You encourage them to develop spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible, study, and worship (Phil. 3:17). You exemplify setting priorities and making decisions according to biblical principles by following that rule in your own life (Psalm 119:9). It is very evident that being the spiritual leader of your home is no small undertaking. But, in what God requires of us, He graciously supplies all that we need to accomplish it.
Every husband and father will stand before God some day and give an account for his obedience or disobedience in fulfilling these responsibilities. And may I lovingly say, no excuse will suffice if these responsibilities have been neglected. If you have not already done so, will you take a stand for God in your home? Will you confess your neglect of your role to God, repent of your disobedience, and then become the Spirit-filled leader your family needs? The spiritual health of your family depends upon it!
David
However, as we embark on this journey to become family focused, I feel it is important that I throw out a challenge to the fathers and husbands who consistently neglect their leadership role. The challenge is to stand up and become the Spirit-filled leader of your home! God has commanded it of you and your family needs it from you. This is an unambiguous issue that calls for either obedience or disobedience. As Pastor Phil said in his sermon Sunday night, “Partial obedience is disobedience; to delay is disobedience; selective obedience is not obedience at all, it is only convenience.” So, unless you have made a settled decision to be disobedient to God, you do not have a choice in the matter.
During my years of ministering to families, men have given me scores of reasons for neglecting their role as spiritual leader of their home. Their number one excuse is that they feel inadequate. Any man who reads the Bible enough to know what God requires of husbands and fathers ought to feel inadequate. Men are commanded in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her., In Ephesians 6:4 Paul says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These two verses alone should reveal to a man that unless he is totally dependent upon the power of the Holy Spirit and the resources He provides, he will be a complete failure at this task!
What does it mean to be the spiritual leader of your home? It means you consistently provide a godly example for your family to follow. In your personal walk with the Lord and in your relationship with them, you model what it means to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). You model sacrificial love and putting the needs of others first (Phil. 2:3-4). You encourage them to develop spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible, study, and worship (Phil. 3:17). You exemplify setting priorities and making decisions according to biblical principles by following that rule in your own life (Psalm 119:9). It is very evident that being the spiritual leader of your home is no small undertaking. But, in what God requires of us, He graciously supplies all that we need to accomplish it.
Every husband and father will stand before God some day and give an account for his obedience or disobedience in fulfilling these responsibilities. And may I lovingly say, no excuse will suffice if these responsibilities have been neglected. If you have not already done so, will you take a stand for God in your home? Will you confess your neglect of your role to God, repent of your disobedience, and then become the Spirit-filled leader your family needs? The spiritual health of your family depends upon it!
David
Monday, August 18
What Is Family Ministry?
The term "Family Ministry" has been bouncing around First Baptist for several months now. I have written a couple of Encounters articles about it, the staff has been discussing it, and I have shared certain elements of it with individuals. However, I don't think I have adequately communicated a proper definition of the term "family ministry" as it is being used. In this post, I want to attempt to do just that as briefly and as clearly as possible.
First of all, when you hear me, or any other staff member, speaking about family ministry we are not talking about a program. We are talking about a philosophy that will guide our ministry efforts. The staff believes this philosophy provides us with a more biblical approach for ministering to families, helps us better define the church’s role in that, and helps us prioritize everything we do.
Using a much overused term, the staff is going through a "paradigm shift". We are moving from the traditional church centered, home supported ministry approach to one that is home centered and church supported. The traditional approach encourages families to provide support and resources to the church so it can disciple their children effectively. In other words, the home helps the church to be the best it can be.
The new approach promotes that the church do all it can to provide training and support for parents to disciple their own children effectively. The church exists to partner with homes to help them be all that God desires them to be. In other words, the church says to the parents, “Our role is to be a resource of ideas, training, and encouragement that helps you provide spiritual leadership and biblical training for your children in the environment of your home.”
I read an article recently that said most churches operate their preschool, children, and youth ministries like a Dry Cleaners. The quote went something like this; “You swing in, drop off your precious personals into the hands of a stranger, get a little impatient if it takes too long, and pick up your items all 'fixed.' In a world of drop-off children’s activities, many ministries have followed suit. You drop off your kids at school, athletics, tutoring, etc, so why not drop off your children for their spiritual education at the local church?” This presents a fairly accurate picture of the traditional approach of which I am speaking. You can see that it clearly usurps the biblical responsibility of parents.
Let me give you a real life example of how the new approach operates. In a recent planning meeting, the youth staff was discussing the idea of hosting another abstinence education weekend. Traditionally, we would have had an organization like True Love Waits come in for the weekend and teach the youth about the dangers of sexual promiscuity. With our new approach guiding them, the youth staff decided that hosting this type event would usurp the biblical role of parents to provide that instruction. Instead they decided to host an event where parents could come and receive training on how to discuss abstinence issues with their children. Do you see what a tremendous difference this makes in how the church attempts to minister to families?
In closing, there are other elements to family ministry that are important as well. We will promote a strong biblical view of marriage. We will encourage and equip men to be the spiritual leaders of their homes. We will provide support for single parents and blended families. And finally, we will provide opportunities for families to Connect, Grow, Serve, and Share together (I will address this in future articles).
I am aware that this new approach to family ministry certainly raises many questions. For example, what about youth and children that attend FBC but their parents don’t? This question, and many others, is what the staff is working to provide answers for as we meet together. Your comments and suggestions are always welcomed.
David
P.S. Look for a new post on Thursday!
First of all, when you hear me, or any other staff member, speaking about family ministry we are not talking about a program. We are talking about a philosophy that will guide our ministry efforts. The staff believes this philosophy provides us with a more biblical approach for ministering to families, helps us better define the church’s role in that, and helps us prioritize everything we do.
Using a much overused term, the staff is going through a "paradigm shift". We are moving from the traditional church centered, home supported ministry approach to one that is home centered and church supported. The traditional approach encourages families to provide support and resources to the church so it can disciple their children effectively. In other words, the home helps the church to be the best it can be.
The new approach promotes that the church do all it can to provide training and support for parents to disciple their own children effectively. The church exists to partner with homes to help them be all that God desires them to be. In other words, the church says to the parents, “Our role is to be a resource of ideas, training, and encouragement that helps you provide spiritual leadership and biblical training for your children in the environment of your home.”
I read an article recently that said most churches operate their preschool, children, and youth ministries like a Dry Cleaners. The quote went something like this; “You swing in, drop off your precious personals into the hands of a stranger, get a little impatient if it takes too long, and pick up your items all 'fixed.' In a world of drop-off children’s activities, many ministries have followed suit. You drop off your kids at school, athletics, tutoring, etc, so why not drop off your children for their spiritual education at the local church?” This presents a fairly accurate picture of the traditional approach of which I am speaking. You can see that it clearly usurps the biblical responsibility of parents.
Let me give you a real life example of how the new approach operates. In a recent planning meeting, the youth staff was discussing the idea of hosting another abstinence education weekend. Traditionally, we would have had an organization like True Love Waits come in for the weekend and teach the youth about the dangers of sexual promiscuity. With our new approach guiding them, the youth staff decided that hosting this type event would usurp the biblical role of parents to provide that instruction. Instead they decided to host an event where parents could come and receive training on how to discuss abstinence issues with their children. Do you see what a tremendous difference this makes in how the church attempts to minister to families?
In closing, there are other elements to family ministry that are important as well. We will promote a strong biblical view of marriage. We will encourage and equip men to be the spiritual leaders of their homes. We will provide support for single parents and blended families. And finally, we will provide opportunities for families to Connect, Grow, Serve, and Share together (I will address this in future articles).
I am aware that this new approach to family ministry certainly raises many questions. For example, what about youth and children that attend FBC but their parents don’t? This question, and many others, is what the staff is working to provide answers for as we meet together. Your comments and suggestions are always welcomed.
David
P.S. Look for a new post on Thursday!
Wednesday, August 13
Welcome to the Blog!
Well, I have been dragged kickin' and screamin' into the 21st Century. I even have a Facebook page now. I told some friends just a few weeks ago that a guy my age did not need a Facebook page and that I would probably never have one. Then, after accepting an invitation to view a friend's page, I saw how many people in our church have one, even people my age and older!!! My first thought was "this could be a great ministry tool." Then I was invited to view a member's Blogspot (thanks Ginger). I thought "this could be an even better ministry tool!"
Things kind of took off from there. After consulting with some of our younger more tech-savvy staff and interns, it seemed like a great idea to use a blog to provide information, ideas, and resources to First Baptist families. I know of other pastors that have been using this technology for some time already however, it took me until now to see the potential it has for ministering to Christian homes. In short, I am now a "blogger"!
This blog will be updated at least once a week and sometimes even more frequently. It will provide a venue for the Family Ministry Staff to keep members informed of upcoming events and ministry changes, post articles that address family issues, and point out helpful resources that families might want to use. At times, users will be given a behind the scenes look into how the staff is moving in a more family focused direction.
Also, this blog will give parents, grandparents, and guardians an opportunity to make comments and suggestions concerning our efforts to better minister to families. This will provide a much needed two-way line of communication between the staff and church members. The goal is to help families become all that God desires them to be for His glory, and I believe your prayer saturated feedback is essential to fulfilling this goal.
Even though I have written an article for the front of the Encounters this week which promotes this blog, would you help me get the word out? Please, share this information with your friends and other FBC families.
Look for the first article to be posted on Monday morning August 18. Until then have a great rest of the week!!!
David Trent
Elder of Family Ministry
Things kind of took off from there. After consulting with some of our younger more tech-savvy staff and interns, it seemed like a great idea to use a blog to provide information, ideas, and resources to First Baptist families. I know of other pastors that have been using this technology for some time already however, it took me until now to see the potential it has for ministering to Christian homes. In short, I am now a "blogger"!
This blog will be updated at least once a week and sometimes even more frequently. It will provide a venue for the Family Ministry Staff to keep members informed of upcoming events and ministry changes, post articles that address family issues, and point out helpful resources that families might want to use. At times, users will be given a behind the scenes look into how the staff is moving in a more family focused direction.
Also, this blog will give parents, grandparents, and guardians an opportunity to make comments and suggestions concerning our efforts to better minister to families. This will provide a much needed two-way line of communication between the staff and church members. The goal is to help families become all that God desires them to be for His glory, and I believe your prayer saturated feedback is essential to fulfilling this goal.
Even though I have written an article for the front of the Encounters this week which promotes this blog, would you help me get the word out? Please, share this information with your friends and other FBC families.
Look for the first article to be posted on Monday morning August 18. Until then have a great rest of the week!!!
David Trent
Elder of Family Ministry
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