Making the Most of "Teachable Moments"

When attempting to teach children biblical values, parents must realize that there is so much more involved than simply reading Bible stories to them and praying with them at bedtime. Now, please don’t think I am minimizing these two activities. I personally believe they are tremendously important to the spiritual development of a child. However, I also believe they are just the tip of the iceberg.

We have been told by experts that about 12.5 percent of an iceberg is visible above the waterline while the other 87.5 percent lurks below the surface. There is an indispensable parenting skill that, much like the bulk of an iceberg, often gets overlooked. That skill is seizing teachable moments. This is when a parent recognizes and takes advantage of opportunities, as they arise, to model biblical values in front of their children. Parents should be willing to say to their children the words that the Apostle Paul said to his children in the faith living in Corinth "Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ" I Cor. 11:1

Today I am posting, by permission, an excerpt from a book written by Dr. Steven Carr Reuben titled CHILDREN OF CHARACTER: Leading Your Children to Ethical Choices in Everyday Life. Santa Monica, CA: Canter & Associates 1997. I believe Dr. Reuben hits the nail on the head!

One of the most important skills to nurture as a parent, is the ability to recognize and capitalize on "teachable moments" in everyday life. A teachable moment can happen almost anywhere - in the supermarket, when picking your child up from school, when walking through a shopping mall or setting the table for dinner. Chances are that many of the valuable moral lessons that you learned from your parents as a child were not consciously taught at all. They were rather learned in the midst of casual moments of real life, just as our children's real lessons come from being, living and interacting with us in a hundred different ways we could never predict in advance.

This is why an important key to teaching children ethical behavior is learning to recognize teachable moments through which your children can develop the habit of being aware of ethical challenges. For example, when you are checking out at the supermarket, and the checker inadvertently gives you too much change, or fails to charge you for an item in your cart, that is a teachable moment. As your child watches you point out the mistake or return the change, he or she learns in the most powerful way possible about honesty, integrity, good citizenship and being part of a society.

One of the most common teachable moments happens every time you drive your car with your kids inside. Think of all the lessons they are learning about life and being part the social fabric of the community just by riding in your car. You put on your seat belt, and they learn about personal responsibility and self-respect (after all, you care enough about yourself to protect your body); you let someone in to your lane on the freeway, and they learn about mutual respect for others and doing your part to help society run smoothly; you put money in the meter, stop at the stop sign and obey traffic rules and they learn about good citizenship. And imagine the lesson in caring behavior and ethics they might learn if they saw you putting money in a stranger's parking meter so that they don't get a ticket!

Home, school, work and play are all fertile ground for discovering teachable moments. If you arrive to pick up your child from school and you see a classmate's parents are late in coming, waiting with that child to be sure he or she is OK will teach your child the value of friendship, the importance of social responsibility. Of course one of the best ways to do that is to take your child along as you bring clothes to a homeless shelter, donate food to a foodbank or volunteer for community charity event. Even participating in walking precincts or making phone calls for political candidates will teach them a valuable lesson about citizenship and the importance of being part of the political process.

Finally, here are six keys to recognizing teachable moments:

1.Recognize that your children often learn moral lessons unconsciously,in casual moments.

2.Be aware of situations that represent moral choices.

3.Talk with your children about the ethical challenges represented in everyday situations, the media and popular culture.

4.Praise your children for their ethical choices.

5.Point out ethical behavior in others.

6.Let your children see your own thought processes regarding ethical decisions.

The Exchanged Life

One of the phrases that we often use in classes and messages is, “the exchanged life”. As near as I can tell, this phrase was first used by the pioneer missionary to China, Hudson Taylor. I think this is a great phrase to describe the Christian life. It would not be a bad translation of Romans 5:8 to say, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died in exchange for us.”

When a person savingly believes in Jesus Christ, think of all the exchanges that take place: Christ exchanges His righteousness for our sin. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NKJV) “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” We exchange our old life in Adam for His resurrection life. Romans 6:6 (NKJV) “knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.” Colossians 3:4 (NKJV) “When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.” We could go on and on with the exchange that takes place. We exchange our weakness for His strength; we exchange our deserved wrath from God as a son of Adam and receive in exchange adoption into God’s family and we become joint-heirs with Christ.

The exchanged life, however, is not just doctrinal truths; it is the practical way we walk in holiness and power daily. Daily, we reckon on what happened at the cross and count by faith that the old us, in Adam, that sin had dominion over is crucified with Christ (Romans 6:6, 11). We reaffirm the presentation of our body to Him in total surrender (Romans 12:1), and we walk through the day abiding in Christ which means that we live in a constant conscious dependence on Christ to empower and direct us. Every demand made on us throughout the day is in reality a demand on Christ in us and He is sufficient. This is the exchanged life. It is really just walking by faith. It is probably best summarized in Galatians 2:20 (NKJV) “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Most believers have somehow missed these “exchanged life” truths even though they are clearly taught in the New Testament. Most believers see the Christian life as simply trying as hard as you can and maybe asking God for a little help. This approach is a flesh empowered approach and always leads to frustration and failure. If this flesh approach is then taught to our children, the error perpetuates itself generation after generation. Some parents discover these exchanged life truths but believe that they are too deep to be understood by children. Actually children grasp these truths more quickly than do most adults because they do not have to unlearn years of programming that the Christian life is “grit your teeth and try as hard as you can”.

When a child comes to Christ, teach him what happened at the cross. His old man (nature) was crucified with Christ and while we still have the old man’s programming (the flesh), we have Christ in us to strengthen us to walk in victory over that flesh. Teach your children the truth as was phrased by Major Ian Thomas, “I can’t; He never said I could. He can and He said He would; I’m going to trust Him”.


Pastor Phil