FBC Family Ministry

Loving On Another Level

2009-12-03T13:58:00.002-05:00

Last week, I and 27 others from FBC-Powell went to New York City to work with the New York School of Urban Ministry during the Thanksgiving Holiday. The ministry opportunities presented to us were amazingly diverse. Our two teams ministered to the homeless by volunteering in shelters and soup kitchens and through street ministry at night. Some went to a hospital for HIV patients and others with chronic illnesses to encourage and pray with them. Some went to a day center for adults with Cerebral Palsy to sing Christmas carols room to room. We distributed Thanksgiving baskets alongside a new church plant in the poorest neighborhood in the Bronx. One group even participated in preaching and sharing their testimonies on the subway system.

After being home for a few days and a considerable amount of reflection, I wanted to share what I believe to be the most important lesson I took away from this trip. I learned that taking time to give a listening ear to someone who is typically ignored, to give a person most people will not even sit next to a compassionate touch on the shoulder, to offer a message of hope in Christ to those without hope, are the most valuable gifts we can give to the poor and disabled.

I have been going through a season of repentance because I have too often taken the easy way out to help the downtrodden. I have written a check here and there to support those who are on the front line of ministry. While doing this isn’t wrong, it is a level of love that is not truly sacrificial. You see, I can write a check without much inconvenience or discomfort. It won’t cramp my lifestyle. But, what about giving a few hours of my time to get to know someone and listen to their hurts and concerns? What about giving numerous hours of time to get to know someone so well that I am positive I know the most effective way to minister to them?

I have come to realize over the past couple of weeks that true sacrificial love is so much more than helping finance a benevolent ministry. It is more than passing out material things like a sandwich or toiletries to a homeless person. The deepest love we can show is by giving our time and attention to individuals that are in many cases forgotten, ignored, and abused. To show the love of Christ means we must go beyond the convenience of giving a few dollars of support. It requires us to give up our time, rearrange our schedules, and even deny our wants and needs for the welfare of others. Few times will this necessitate a financial contribution but it will always cost us some of the comforts and conveniences that we so greatly value.

I am reading Matthew 25:34-40 from a new perspective these days. It says:

“Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

David

How to Protect Your Marriage

2009-11-02T15:02:00.003-05:00

Last summer, I tackled a home improvement project that nearly got the best of me. I knew the eight-feet tall privacy fence in my back yard was in pretty bad shape when Sherron and I moved into our current home a couple of years earlier. After making a few repairs along the way, I began to realize that at some point replacing it would be my only option. One day, after a pretty bad storm, I went out back to find a couple of the fence posts had broken and the fence was leaning over against some trees on our property. The time to replace the fence had come.

After finding the style I wanted, I purchased all the lumber and began what became a two-week project of building my new fence. The fence turned out great but building it reminded me that I am not a spring chicken anymore and that I don’t recover as quickly from a really hard day of labor. In thinking of this project, I often use the analogy of building fences in our lives that serve to protect us from sin and temptation. I specifically want to speak today about building fences to protect your marriage from an affair.

A fence serves two purposes. First it protects a person’s property from visual or physical entry by people or animals that do not belong there. Second, it helps provide boundaries that prevent children or pets from leaving the safety of the property. In the same way, setting up fences in marriage helps protect them. They provide barriers from anyone entering that sacred space that does not belong there and helps keep us from wandering outside of its covenant boundaries.

Let’s look at a few fences that can be implemented in a marriage relationship to see what they look like. These are things that every married person should be proactive in building and maintaining to protect their marriage. Here are a few examples.

• Be proactive in understanding and meeting your spouse’s needs unconditionally (Eph. 5:25-29; Eph. 5:33; 1 Cor. 7:3). A general rule for this is that men typically desire respect and physical intimacy and women typically desire love and emotional intimacy.

• Treat your spouse in such a way that they know you value them or someone else will (Eph. 5:22-24; 1 Peter 3:7). Your spouse should feel that you are their biggest fan and that you consider them of great worth.

• Even at the expense of appearing unfriendly, never open yourself up emotionally to anyone other than your spouse. Never spend time with someone of the opposite sex such as taking them to lunch and never share intimate personal information with them (Psalm 141:3-4; James 1:13-15).

• Always look for and acknowledge the best qualities in you spouse and avoid dwelling on the negative (Proverbs 31:10-31; Malachi 2:13-15). We often focus on the personality traits and habits of our spouse that irritate us or cause discomfort. To combat this we must be proactive in looking for, appreciating, and affirming their positive qualities.

• Finally, and most importantly, see to it that your relationship with Christ remains strong and intimate. It is through this relationship that you will find both the desire and the ability to be the spouse God directs you to be (Phil. 2:13 NLT).

In closing, let me say that if you think your marriage is not susceptible to an affair then yours may be one of the most susceptible. Why, because you are the least likely to be proactive in building and maintaining these fences in your life. If that happens, your marriage will go on unprotected and Satan will attempt to send someone into that sacred space that does not belong there. You can “affair proof” your marriage but, like my fence project, it takes time and often great effort to do so.

Glorifying God in Gray Areas

2009-09-25T09:28:00.003-04:00

This past year I have had multiple conversations, mostly with young adults, concerning their desire to live holy lives in a fallen world. In those conversations issues such as avoiding legalism, knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate for Christians to be involved in, and are things always black and white with God have come up. These are very imprortant issues with which every Christian must come to terms.

Typically, the Bible contains clear instructions on what a God honoring life looks like and what behaviors and activities most define the Christian life. However, what about those things the Bible does not directly address? I came across the following article on the Grace to You website that I thought would be very useful in helping us navigate through the "gray areas".

If the issue you are wondering about is not specifically addressed in the Bible, then it's helpful to ask these questions from 1 Corinthians to help you in deciding what to do. Asking these questions (and others like them) will help you make a wise decision based on sound biblical principles.

1. Will it benefit me spiritually? First Corinthians 10:23 says, "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify."

2. Will it put me in bondage? First Corinthians 6:12 says, "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything." Any questionable practice that can be habit-forming is not wise to pursue.

3. Will it defile God's temple? First Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body." We should not do anything with our bodies that would dishonor the Lord.

4. Will it cause others to stumble? First Corinthians 8:8-9 says, "Food will not commend us to God; we are neither the worse if we do not eat, nor the better if we do eat. But take care lest this liberty of yours somehow become a stumbling block to the weak." One should refrain from using his freedom in an area which might cause others to sin. For "by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore," Paul said, "if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, that I might not cause my brother to stumble."

5. Will it help the cause of evangelism? First Corinthians 10:32-33 says, "Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of the many, that they may be saved." We must think of the effect any practice might have on our testimony to the lost.

6. Will it violate my conscience? First Corinthians 10:25-29 contains three references to abstaining from a certain practice "for conscience' sake." And Romans 14:23 says, "He who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin." If we are not sure whether an action is pleasing to God, we should not do it. That way our conscience will remain clear and our relationship to God will not be hindered.

7. Will it bring glory to God? First Corinthians 10:31 summarizes all these principles by saying, "Therefore, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

Copywrite 2007, Grace to You, All rights reserved, Used by permission
You can find this article at http://www.gty.org/Resources/Print/Articles/A165

David

Responsibility Equals Accountability

2009-08-28T15:09:00.003-04:00

I wonder how many Christian fathers have truly been overcome with fear and trembling while pondering the depth of responsibility God has given to them for their children? I can honestly say that in my life that has happened far less often than it should. My lack of sensing the seriousness of my responsibilities was brought to bear while reading the third chapter of I Samuel today.

We know this chapter because it describes the calling of young Samuel as a prophet by God. What should cause every man to step back and take notice is the ominous message that God gives to Samuel concerning Eli the priest. Here is God’s message concerning Eli and his family in verses 11-14:

Then the LORD said to Samuel, “I am about to do a shocking thing in Israel. I am going to carry out all my threats against Eli and his family, from beginning to end. I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them. So I have vowed that the sins of Eli and his sons will never be forgiven by sacrifices or offerings.” NLT

These verses contain a horrific pronouncement of judgment. God said that He was about to do something to Eli and his wicked sons that would shock Israel. Several translations say that God’s judgment would make everyone’s “ears tingle.” Despite God’s warnings to reign in his blasphemous sons Hophni and Phinehas, Eli basically let them off with simple warnings.

It is very apparent that God holds Eli personally accountable for the sins of his sons. In chapter 2 verse 12 we read that Eli’s two sons “were scoundrels who had no respect for the LORD” even though they were priests in the temple.

Eli had failed to appropriately discipline (some translations say “restrain”) them from their evil ways. These were adult men who needed to be removed as priests and possibly even stoned according to the Law but Eli allowed them to continue in their greed and blasphemy. God took care of the matter by seeing to it that all three men died a violent death and then He refused to forgive their sins. They brought God to His “I’ve had it” point!

Here is the issue at hand, God held Eli accountable for his sons behavior. He had the right and the authority to restrain these two but chose rather to enable them to continue. Therefore, God will hold every Christian father accountable for neglecting the proper discipline of his children. Too often I think men have bought into the idea that their children need them to be their friends. That they need someone to have a good time with and to make sure they are properly entertained.

Listen, God has called fathers to train their children and to discipline them towards godliness not simply be their pals. We are to be to them as God, our heavenly Father, is to us. Yes, He is our friend but He is also our righteous God who disciplines us and does not overlook our sins.

I am challenging every father to be bold, to be the fair but firm disciplinarian that God has given you the responsibility to be. We will one day give an account of this before God and I pray that the sins of our children will not be brought as an accusation against us at our time of judgment!

Christ-Like Headship

2009-08-06T09:51:00.003-04:00

Weighty Words on the Meaning of a Husband's Headship:
John Piper
August 5, 2009

[I have copied this article from the Gender Blog of The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. It was originally posted on the DesiringGod blog]

What follows is one of the greatest reasons for a man to get married and stay married: not the rapturous flame of eros, but the refining fires of holiness.

No relationship is more clearly commanded to model the death of Christ. No relationship is more costly-in both senses of that word (painful and precious).

This quote comes from one of C. S. Lewis's last books, published in 1960, The Four Loves. In it we hear the wise fruit of a lifetime.

"The husband is the head of the wife just in so far as he is to her what Christ is to the Church. He is to love her as Christ loved the church-read on-and gave his life for her (Ephesians 5:25).

This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is-in her own mere nature-least lovable. For the church has no beauty but what the bridegroom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely.

The chrism [anointing, consecration] of this terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joys of any man's marriage but in its sorrows, in the sickness and sufferings of a good wife or the faults of the bad one, in his unwearying (never paraded) care or his inexhaustible forgiveness: forgiveness, not acquiescence.

As Christ sees in the flawed, proud, fanatical or lukewarm Church on earth that bride who will one day be without spot or wrinkle, and labors to produce the latter, so the husband whose headship is Christ-like (and he is allowed no other sort) never despairs. He is a King Cophetua who after twenty years still hopes that the beggar-girl will one day learn to speak the truth and wash behind her ears. (105-106)"

Tim Tebow, Man of God…

2009-07-31T13:30:00.001-04:00

Last week at the SEC media days in Hoover, Alabama, Tim Tebow, quarterback of the defending BCS Champion Florida Gators, was asked a question that many people are deeming as inappropriate and unnecessary, however I don’t hold to the same opinion.

While the question didn’t mention anything about how Tebow plans to attack opposing defenses and it didn’t mention anything about the Gators version of the “spread” offense, I would say that the question (while not a football question) allowed Tebow yet another opportunity to do what the Bible teaches in 1 Peter 3:15 which says “always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear”.

So here’s the question Tebow was asked by a member of the media… “Tim, are you still a virgin?

For many who haven’t followed Tebow’s career, his answer might have been surprising. Tim replied “Yes I am” and then he chuckled a bit.

You see, Tim Tebow is much more than a Heisman Trophy winner and two-time National Champion Quarterback, Tim Tebow is a real man of God. He is ready for any question that might come his way because he spends time in God’s word. He tries to be “steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” as 2 Corinthians 15:58 says.

Tebow faces constant scrutiny from the media about his “religion” and about his motives for preaching at prisons and doing evangelistic work in the Philippines, but he always backs up the questions with his actions. 1 Peter 2:12 “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God”

You might say, “well it sounds like Tebow is perfect”? And I would say, of course he’s not, the bible says “all we like sheep have gone astray” Isaiah 53:6. However, Tim makes it his “aim to be well pleasing to the Lord” 2 Corinthians 5:9 and quite frankly, he is the greatest role model in sports today.

Not only is Tim a role model, I would say his family sets a great example for raising Godly children as well. If you look closely at the Tebow family, it’s easy to see why Tim seeks to glorify God with his life... It’s because his parents raised him to fear the Lord (Deuteronomy 6). Just last year I had a chance to talk with Bob and Pam Tebow (Tim’s parents) and after speaking with them it was evident that they want Tim to be a God fearing man, not just a great quarterback!

Bob Tebow has established the BTEA (Bob Tebow Evangelistic Association) which has as its primary goal “to make the Gospel of Jesus Christ available to every person in the world” www.btea.org. The Tebow family desires to reach people with the Gospel and use Timmy’s platform as a football star to spread the good news to the nations.

Tim Tebow is truly a once in a generation athlete and probably will go down as the greatest college football player of all time; but with that said, the reason I am writing this is not to elevate Tim Tebow in an idolatrous fashion, rather, it is to recognize the fact that there are still some real men of God out there that are great role models for our Youth and children. I’m not asking you to support the Gators or even become a Tebow fan, but I am asking you to recognize men whose greatest motive in life is to Glorify God, and then point your children in their direction…

Chad Scarbro
7/29/2009

The Big Apple Experience

2009-07-16T15:11:00.002-04:00

I just returned from a mission trip to New York City with our High School youth. The scope of our effort was to team up with the New York School of Urban Ministry located in Queens. NYSUM is a non-denominational, evangelical, Christian organization that ministers to the homeless, lower income, and disabled of NYC. They allow churches to send mission teams there for hands-on evangelism and ministry training. NYSUM partners with and provides volunteers for dozens of Christian ministries, charities, and churches all over the city.

I was so blessed to see our youth and adults serve, evangelize, and basically love on arguably the poorest people in the country. The team served meals at soup kitchens, passed out toiletries and food to the homeless, sang songs and painted buildings for those with Cerebral Palsy, did clown evangelism in Times Square, and prayerwalked on Wall Street. Each of these ministries called for our team members to be stretched well outside of their comfort zones and to rely completely upon the Holy Spirit's resources.

I never heard a whine or complaint even when there were sudden schedule changes or when tiredness set in. I am always thankful for belonging to a church that provides members of all ages multiple opportunities to fulfill the Great Commission and the Great Commandment. I see in our High School youth a maturity level and an openness to give of themselves that truly amazes me at times.

This coming Thanksgiving, the Family Ministry has scheduled another trip to work with NYSUM. This will be a trip for youth and their families to go and serve primarily the homeless during the Holidays and during the cold November winter. I am praying the many families will take advantage of this opportunity to serve God together and reach out to those in desperate physical and spiritual need.

Did God Intend for Marriage to be Difficult?

2009-06-23T09:29:00.003-04:00

Like many Christians couples, Sherron and I began our marriage hoping and praying for a peaceful home and a relationship relatively free of significant problems. We were not naive enough to think we would have a problem free marriage but, we did think we had it in us to keep trouble at a minimum. I thought we could maintain our happiness as we met each other's needs and tried to ensure the flame of romance kept burning. Now, after 29-years of living life together, I realize those earlier hopes and prayers were misguided. You see, those prayers were what I would call "make my life easier" prayers. The motive behind them was my desire for God to make my home life as comfortable and convenient as possible.

After years of learning hard but irreplaceable lessons, I have come to believe that God intends for marriage to be a difficult journey. He knew that sin would enter the world through the Fall, yet He left in place the institution of marriage. His design is for a surrendered but sinful man and woman to live in a life-long covenant relationship that reflects His nature and Christ's relationship with His Bride the Church. There is something more that God intends to produce through marriage than a peaceful problem free home. He is more concerned with the personal holiness of a husband and wife than He is their momentary happiness?

I have come to believe that marriage, like no other arena of life, is designed to be the primary environment in which God operates to conform us to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). It is His gymnasium where spiritual endurance and strength are produced in the lives of His children. On a daily basis marriage tests our patience, challenges our selfishness, stirs our emotions, and stretches our faith! It consistently pushes us past our own abilities to handle situations in a godly manner. It reveals that we must either depend upon the resources the Holy Spirit provides or drown in our own self efforts.

Often, God uses the difficulties of marriage to bring to the surface our underlying attitudes and heart issues which displease Him and are poisonous to our relationships. He does this so that we can deal with them appropriately through confession and repentance. I firmly believe that God allows us to endure the trials and pressures of married life in order to prepare us for heaven. Through those times, God is patiently refining and purifying us. They help close the gap between our heavenly positional holiness in Christ and our conditional holiness that is expressed in our attitudes and actions of daily life.

God intends marriage to produce good in our lives so, no matter the level of difficulties yours carries, see it as a blessing from God. It is one of His means of producing holiness and Christ-likeness in your life. Begin to pray "transform me" prayers instead of "make my life easier" prayers. Only then can anyone truly appreciate and cooperate with what God is trying to produce through their marriage relationship.

David

P.S. I feel it necessary to add that those in physically abusive relationships should seek counseling and by all means protect themselves from harm. If you are in this type of relationship, the Counseling Ministry of First Baptist Church would like to help. You can contact us at (865)947-9074.

Too Painful To Watch

2009-06-16T14:58:00.001-04:00

A couple of years ago Sherron and I began watching the enormously popular TLC program Jon and Kate Plus 8. Most of you are aware of the premise of the program so I won’t go into much detail. Suffice it to say, that after having twins and then sextuplets Jon and Kate Gosselin were approached about doing a reality program following their day-to-day lives. The busy parents have said that they accepted the offer primarily because it would provide them the opportunity to have a video record of their children growing up.

As everyone in America now knows, things have turned really ugly in the Gosselin household. Both Jon and Kate have been reported to have had affairs and are making the cover of gossip magazines on a weekly basis. The program that was once so sweet and provided a transparent look into the lives of a seemingly well grounded family has become too painful to watch.

Jon and Kate promoted themselves, and may possibly be, evangelical Christians. In fact Sherron and my daughter Ashleigh went to see them speak at a local church last year. Jon often wears tee shirts with Bible verses on them and one program dealt with the parents getting themselves and their eight children to and from church. Besides the fairly normal times of expressing open frustration, mostly due to fatigue, Jon and Kate seemed to have a loving and sacrificial marriage. If you have watched the show you know I could be much more critical than this but I won’t cast any stones here.

Anyone with the slightest amount of discernment could see the problems the family now face coming a mile away. I think it all started when because of their meager financial situation companies started giving the family stuff. They received all expense paid trips to a ski resort, to Disney World, along with multiple other places. Their children were given clothing and toys beyond what their parents could have ever afforded for them. Jon and Kate both were provided with free cosmetic surgery and mom often visits the spa for the royal treatment. On top of that, endorsements gave them money to buy a bigger house and more stuff.

Not only did rampant materialism seem to creep in, enjoying celebrity status has become a major part of their lives. This seems to be a big issue especially for Kate. I watched the season finale last year that ended with trouble looming on the horizon. Jon basically said he was over doing the program and Kate said she loved it. Clearly, the motive of having a video documentary of their growing children is no longer their primary motivation for doing the show. What a warning to every Christian home to keep priorities in order!

I am saddened to see a family basically fall apart on national television and, even more so, to see Jon and Kate completely lose their Christian witness. When I think of them, it reminds me of Chris Sligh’s song “Empty Me.” You might remember Chris as a contestant on another popular television show called American Idol. I am posting his song with the lyrics below. What Chris recognized and seems to have dodged (the lure of fame and fortune), appears to have overtaken the Gosselins. Take a listen and remember Jesus’ warning that “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

Avoid Results Oriented Parenting

2009-06-09T14:38:00.002-04:00

After making the statement “family education and order are some of the chief means of grace,” Jonathan Edwards goes on to speak to the potential effectiveness of following God’s plan for the home. He approaches “family education” and “order” from both a positive and a negative viewpoint.

Edwards first gives the negative perspective in the phrase, “If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual.” In other words, there are no adequate substitutes to replace God’s design for the home. His design promotes parents as the primary spiritual teachers and role models for their children and delegates roles and responsibilities to each family member. “If these fail,” any other design or system will show itself to be totally inadequate.

I think the warning here for Christians is to not allow common cultural practices, popular psychology, or man-made theories to influence how we order our homes and fulfill our God given responsibilities to the family. The pull and influence of the world system is strong and sometimes, even with the best intentions, Christians can be influenced by its values. The J.B. Phillips translation of Romans 12:2a says “Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould.” I have personally waded that river while raising my children, so I know how strong the current can be. Always be alert to areas of your family life where those with non-biblical views of the home attempt to persuade you to conform to worldly values.

Next, Edwards expresses the positive perspective of family education and order when he says, “If these are duly maintained, all the means of grace will be likely to prosper and be successful.” I want to look at two elements of this statement. First, what are “all the means of grace” and second, why does Edwards say they “will be likely to prosper?”

Pastor Bob Deffinbaugh Th.M says "The “means of grace” that the Bible talks about are His Word (“the word of His grace,” Acts 20:32), His Spirit (“the Spirit of grace,” Hebrews 10:29), prayer made to the “throne of grace” (Hebrews 4:16), and the grace that is given to the saints which enables them to build up another (Ephesians 4:7; 1 Peter 4:10)." So, if family education and order are in place (“duly maintained”), God’s Word, God’s Spirit, prayer, and God’s enabling will be free to function abundantly in the lives of each family member.

But, what does Edwards mean when he says that these means of grace are “likely to prosper and be successful?” Some may not appreciate the use of the word “likely”! The thought may be “If I do the hard work of duly maintaining family education and order according to God’s plan, shouldn’t I be able to expect some guaranteed results?” This is where parents must take comfort and assurance in the fact that God is sovereign over their children and their home. My personal experience tells me that dedicated and committed Christian parents can sometimes raise a rebellious and wayward child. My experience also tells me that half-hearted and lukewarm Christian parents can sometimes raise a godly, Kingdom-minded child. Seriously, I can give you names!

What does Edward’s use of the word “likely” leave us with? I think it should cause us to examine our motives for duly maintaining family education and order. If our primary motivation is to raise children that never rebel and that will end up being pastors or missionaries, that is a bad primary motive! It is a good secondary motive but not a primary one. The primary motivation of Christian parenting is to honor and glorify God through our obedience to His commands and instructions..

You see, even if a godly parent flawlessly follows biblical guidelines, God may allow them to have a rebellious child for any multitude of reasons. But, according to Romans 8:28, if that happens, we can be assured that it will always be in order for God to bring about good in some form. Where parents can find the comfort I spoke of earlier is in knowing that God is not going to hold them accountable for how their children turn out. He is however, going to hold them accountable for their faithfulness and obedience to the process of biblical parenting. That is the only part of parenting anyone has complete control over anyway! So, I would encourage parents to focus on lining up their parenting style and the order of their home with the biblical model and leave the results God wants to produce up to Him.

As a word of encouragement, the word “likely” also carries with it the idea of there being a strong possibility of success. When parents see to the spiritual development of their children and order their homes according to God’s design for the purpose of glorifying Him, His grace will flow into our homes and will typically produce wonderful results. I believe this means that when we follow God’s plan, well-behaved children and strong marriages will be the norm.

Well, I hope you have been encouraged by this study of Jonathan Edwards quote concerning the Christian home. I also hope that you will seek to honor God through your obedience to the biblical principles it contains.

David

The Grace Filled Home

2009-06-02T16:29:00.006-04:00

What did Jonathan Edwards imply when he said “family education and order are some of the chief means of grace?” In regard to family education I believe he is clearly referring to parents attending to the biblical training and spiritual development of their children. The order of the family speaks of each family member faithfully and joyfully fulfilling their role and responsibilities within the home.

But, what about his assertion that these two activities are “some of the chief means of grace?” In order to determine the meaning of this phrase let’s do a quick word study. The word “chief” means “foremost” or “primary.” The word “means” can be translated “channel” or “instrument”. The word “grace” has two different but connected meanings. It can refer to God’s free and unmerited favor whereby He provides salvation to sinful undeserving people. And, it can point to God’s provision of His supernatural power and resources which help us live according to His plans and purposes.

With these definitions in mind, I think we can accurately paraphrase Edwards’ statement like this: “When parents see to the biblical training of their children and order their homes according to God’s plan, this becomes one of the primary channels through which God dispenses his unmerited favor and sustaining resources.”

Notice he said that the activities of family education and order were “some” of the chief means of grace. In other words, these are not the only means God uses. I think it is interesting that many theologians of the past such as John Calvin, John Wesley, and Martin Luther believed that the teaching and preaching of God’s Word was the chief means of grace.

I like the connection that is made between the church and the home with what these godly men have stated. God dispenses His grace to the home through the church by way of the accurate and faithful teaching and preaching of His Word. He dispenses His grace within the home as His Word is implemented and modeled.

At First Baptist Church, we have just concluded Family Ministry Month. Over the past five Sunday mornings Pastor Phil has been giving instruction, guidance, and encouragement from God’s Word concerning family life. The channel of God’s grace to the home coming from the preaching of God’s Word has been open and free flowing to us all. However, God’s grace will only be experienced when His Word is obediently applied and lived out by those who have heard it. My prayer is that every FBC family will abundantly experience God’s grace in their homes.

David

God's Word is Our Guide

2009-05-27T13:10:00.004-04:00

This post is the third installment of an examination of Jonathan Edward’s statement concerning the Christian family. The phrase we are looking at today says every Christian family should be “wholly influenced and governed by His [God’s] rules.”

Here is the entire quote:
“Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual. If these are duly maintained, all the means of grace will be likely to prosper and be successful.”

One of the most gracious things God has done is to give us His inspired and inerrant word (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20-21). His word is a reliable and trustworthy guide that shows us how to handle all of life’s issues in a way that is most beneficial for us and most glorifying to Him.

The Scriptures are also authoritative (John 16:12-15; Matthew 4:1-11). Over 2000 times, the Bible claims to be the “Word of God”. Through it, our great God who is omnipotent and omniscient has revealed His will. He is a wise and powerful Creator and His Word deserves the utmost reverence, respect, and obedience. The Bible contains direct commands and clear principles regarding how those who claim to be God’s children should conduct themselves.

The Scriptures deal heavily with family relationships and the proper order of the Christian home. So, when Jonathan Edward’s said our homes must be “wholly influenced and governed by His rules”, the assumption is that there is no lack of information concerning those rules, nor motivation to follow them. Here are just a few such “rules”:

Husbands and Fathers
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her - Eph. 5:25

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel -1 Peter 3:7

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever - 1 Timothy 5:8

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up - Deuteronomy 6:6-7

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4

Wives and Mothers
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. - Ephesians 5:22-24

That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed – Titus 2:4-5

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. – 1 Peter 3:3-4

And you, fathers (can also be translated “parents”), do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord - Ephesians 6:4

Children

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you - Exodus 20:12

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord - Colossians 3:20

Everyone
This is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it - 2John 6

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others - Philippians - 2:3-4

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you - Ephesians 4:32

In closing, let me say that it is impossible for anyone to faithfully and consistently follow these commands and instructions in their own strength. Through a surrendered and obedient life, the Holy Spirit can and will provide you the wisdom, desire, and ability to obey God’s “rules” for your Christian home.

David

All Scripture verses were taken from the New King James Version

A Consecrated Home

2009-05-21T09:45:00.002-04:00

Last week I began a phrase by phrase examination of a quote by Jonathan Edwards concerning the Christian family. This week I want to look at the second phrase in the paragraph.

“Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual. If these are duly maintained, all the means of grace will be likely to prosper and be successful.”

According to Webster’s, the word consecrated, used in the context of this phrase, means “to make or declare sacred; to devote irrevocably to the worship of God by a solemn ceremony.” To consecrate something means to dedicate it to God for His glory and for His purposes. In the Old Testament we can read about consecration ceremonies taking place in which people, animals, buildings, and material possessions are declared sacred and set apart for God’s use.

In Exodus 13, the firstborn children and animals of Israel are consecrated to the Lord at Passover. In Exodus 29, Aaron and his sons are consecrated to the Lord to serve Him as priests in the tabernacle. In Joshua chapter 6, the silver, gold, and bronze taken from fallen Jericho were consecrated to the Lord for “His treasury.” The act of consecration is a solemn and serious undertaking. It signifies a person’s acknowledgement of God’s rightful ownership of and sovereign headship over a person or object under their care.

With this in mind, what about your home? Is your home a sacred place dedicated to Christ and His service? Do you desire Him to be the sovereign Lord of your home and do you want it to be set apart for His glory? Whether you are a single adult living alone or a mom and dad with multiple children, you can plan and conduct a private consecration service for your home.

It may look something like this; Have your family gather together in a central location of your home for the reading of Scripture and for prayer. You may want to use Matthew 7:21-27, 1 Chronicles 29:10-14, Deuteronomy 6:4-9, or Ephesians 5:22-6:4 as possible Scripture readings.

Your prayer time can consist of praying for the physical and spiritual protection of your home and family; the dedication of yourself and your family members to fulfill the roles and responsibilities God has given through His word; the acknowledgement that He is the owner and ruler of all your possessions and the foundation of all healthy family relationships; and that in your home you desire Christ to be exalted and the Holy Spirit free to control and guide the life of each family member. You can commemorate this event by purchasing a framed Bible verse, picture, plaque, or figurine and placing it in a prominent area of your home.

Having a private time of consecration is only the beginning. Daily our lives and homes must be surrendered to the Lordship of Christ. Through His direction and enablement, our homes may not become problem free but, they can become bastions of God’s grace and mercy. They can become channels through which Christ receives the glory and honor due His name.

David

Is Your Family a Little Church

2009-05-12T14:59:00.002-04:00

The great pastor and theologian of the 18th century, Jonathan Edwards, once said in regard to family life:

“Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual. If these are duly maintained, all the means of grace will be likely to prosper and be successful.”

There are several points that Edwards makes in this statement which I believe are extremely important for parents and their children to understand. Each phrase is unambiguous, deep in meaning, and biblically based. Over the next few weeks I want to explore this short paragraph one phrase at a time to glean from it the truths it contains.

Today, I want to look at the opening phrase that says, “Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church.” When we understand why the church exists we can easily see how the family can and should be likened to a little church. The church has three primary functions. First, it exists for the praise and worship of God. Paul instructs the body of believers at Colossae to “sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thanksgiving in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16) The heart of every believer should overflow both privately and corporately with worship, thanksgiving, and adoration of our one true God.

Second, the church exists to nurture and build up believers to maturity in the faith. Ephesians 4:12-13 says that gifted men were given to the church “for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.” Spiritual maturity is promoted when the Word of God is taught accurately and intently, then application is made by the believer through faith and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Third, the church exists to fulfill the Great Commission and the Great Commandment. It is primarily the ministry of the church to make the name of Christ known locally and globally through missions and evangelism (Matthew 28:19; Acts 1:8). Along with this, the church is to be God’s instrument of mercy by caring for the poor and needy in the name of Christ (Acts 11:29; 1 John 3:17).

Based upon these three functions, every parent can determine if their home is operating like a little church by asking these three questions: Is my family praising and worshiping God together? Are my family members maturing in their faith at home through training and instruction in the Word of God? Is my family actively making Christ known by sharing their faith with others and by ministering to those in need? If not, then your home has been reduced to a place where individual interests and schedules set the family’s priorities. When this happens, godly pursuits always get squeezed out of the picture and become add-on activities if time allows.

I hope your home is now, or will become, a “little church” that is “consecrated to Christ.” We will look at this second phrase next time.

David

An Adoption Story

2009-05-05T19:39:00.003-04:00

Families on Mission

2009-04-17T16:02:00.002-04:00

I am really excited about several aspects of the new direction our church is taking with family ministry. Close to the top of the list is the fact that we are making a concerted effort to provide more opportunities for families to serve on mission trips together. I have had the privilege of going on several mission trips with my daughters when they were in the youth department and once Sherron and I assisted on the same trip. I know from experience what a positive impact that had on each of us as we served and evangelized together. I do regret never having the opportunity for my entire family to go together.

The Georgia Family Mission Trip has been a great success the last couple of years. This coming November families with youth will be going to New York City to work with the homeless over the Thanksgiving holiday. This is just the beginning because I hope, in the not too distant future, we can schedule an international family trip.

There are multiple reasons why this is exciting from my perspective. First, we are breaking the trend of almost always segregating families when it comes to church related activities. Second, it allows the church and home to lock arms together to fulfill the Great Commission that our Savior has left for us accomplish. Third, in the context of family, missions is more likely to become a lifestyle rather than an event. And fourth, it allows parents to model a servant spirit, kingdom mindset, and evangelistic zeal in front of their own children.

In the past, our youth pastors and ministry leaders along with a few adult chaperones filled the position of modeling missions before our youth. While I would not hesitate pointing to these folks as role models, they should never take the place of the primary role models – the parents. What a great opportunity for parents to live out in front of their children the life that Christ has called each of us to live for His glory!

Ask any group of teenagers, churched or unchurched, who has the most influence on their spiritual development and the #1 and #2 answers will overwhelmingly be mom and dad. It is estimated that parents have three times more influence on their children than any other source. The question is this, is that influence recognized and purposefully implemented in the home? When a godly parent seeks to teach through both word and example, their children will be effected in a positive way.

I hope that many of our church families will take advantage of the opportunities ahead to do missions work together. There is no substitute for parental influence in the life of our children and our children’s children.

Psalm 78:5-7
“For He established a testimony in Jacob
And appointed a law in Israel,
Which He commanded our fathers
That they should teach them to their children,
That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born,
That they may arise and tell them to their children,
That they should put their confidence in God
And not forget the works of God,
But keep His commandments.”

David

Making Wise Family Media Choices

2009-03-30T15:32:00.006-04:00

Someone asked me recently if I thought parenting was getting more and more difficult. Without hesitation my answer was “YES!” Though there are several reasons I believe this, my primary concern stems from the bombardment of media choices presented to families today. On a 24/7 basis, visual images and life messages stream into Christian homes through television, movies, music venues, video games, internet sites, books, magazines, and even cell phone usage. Most of those images are harmful and the life messages almost always contradict a biblical world view.

More than ever before, parents must stay informed of what their children are watching and listening to and what is going on in the culture around them. Because of the shear volume of media opportunities this is no easy task to undertake. I have cautioned parents not to go the easy “isolationist” route and simply say no to everything. There are two reasons behind this advice. One is that it relieves the parent of doing the hard work of discipling their children on how to live in a fallen world without being contaminated by it. Two, it can lead to violating the first portion of Ephesians 6:4 which says “And fathers, do not stir up anger in your children.” This can happen through placing unreasonable demands and restrictions upon children.

While there must be limits in every Christian home concerning media consumption, it is always best to have a clearly defined and communicated guide that everyone in the house abides by and understands. The following list of questions can help provide a “filter” for parents to use to help scrutinize media choices and also provide an avenue for discussing those choices with their children. This really helps when parents must say “no” because it shows your child that your decision is not unreasonable but well thought out and purposeful.

Questions to Help You Make Wise Media Choices:

 Would you consider the main characters to be positive role models?
 Does the overall moral and spiritual message contradict a biblical worldview?
 Are real consequences to sin exposed or is sinful behavior celebrated?
 How are relationships and love portrayed?
 How are Christians, religion, the church, the family, and God portrayed?
 Does the language honor God and people?
 If violence is included, how is it presented?
 How much and what kind of sexual activity is implied and/or depicted?
 Are the visual images dark, sensual, or gratuitous?
 Is the media (video games, television, cell phone, internet) consuming too much time that could be used more productively?

In closing, let me caution a couple of things with using this list. First, realize that parents will apply these questions differently while making media choices for their own family. Even using these common questions may result in some parents deeming a media opportunity as unacceptable while others may not. Second, you will never be able to completely shield your child from negative images and messages. For example, you may go to see an acceptable movie at the theater and then be inadvertently exposed to something unacceptable in the previews of coming attractions. The same goes for commercials on television. I suggest you use these times as teachable moments. *Third, some movies, TV shows, or books that may have slightly questionable content may be worth watching along with an older child or teen because it could provide a bridge to speak openly with them about the spiritual implications of the content.

The goal is to teach our children to develop their own media “filter”. We want them to leave our home some day knowing how to live in and engage a fallen world with the Gospel without being contaminated by it.

David

* Added on 3/30 - I felt it might be best for clarity to name a few movies or books that I felt would fall under this category such as: Remember the Titans, October Sky, Bella, The Chronicles of Narnia movies, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, or The Rookie. All these have strong moral and/or spiritual implications that can be used to promote family discussions. Every parent should still discern the value to viewing them as a family and all are obviously too intense for younger children.

Teach Them God's Word

2009-03-13T15:47:00.007-04:00

In my estimation, the weakest area of spiritual nurture in the Christian home is parents that neglect their responsibility to teach and explain the Bible to their children (Eph. 6:4; Deut. 6:6-7). There are a few parents I am aware of who make a daily habit of reading the Bible to their children. There are even fewer, I believe, that take the time to explain the meaning and application of what they are reading. As a Christian educator, one of the first lessons I had to come to terms with was just because I was teaching it did not necessarily mean anyone was learning.

While reading the Bible to our children is definitely a worthwhile endeavor, how can we know if they are really learning? Even if memorization is taking place, can we be sure they are able to make proper application of the Word of God? I do think there is a teaching method where parents can be sure they are teaching the Bible fully and accurately and also know that their children are “getting it” as well. That method is teaching through catechism.

What is catechism? A catechism is a short book giving a brief summary of basic Bible doctrine using a question and answer format. Nearly everyone is familiar with catechism as a teaching method whether or not we know the meaning of the term. Most of us learned our addition facts and vocabulary words using this time tested method. Our teacher would ask us, "What is 2 plus 2?", and we would answer, "4". In the context of Bible study, our teacher might ask, "What is the first commandment?", and we would answer, "You shall have no other gods before Me." (NKJV) A catechism is a proven way to transfer important, foundational doctrines into our minds and hearts. (excerpt from J. Dan Boulton’s article Catechism- A Means for Learning and Teaching God’s Word)

Catechisms include teaching on such subjects as:
• The doctrines of God including His nature and attributes.
• The doctrines of man.
• The doctrines of grace, sin and salvation.
• The offices of Christ as prophet, priest and king.
• The Ten Commandments.
• The Lord's Prayer.
• The meaning and place of baptism and communion.
• The doctrines of resurrection, judgment and the Lord's second coming.

The most appealing aspect of teaching children through catechism is the fact that it is so simple. Parents can teach five questions and answers of the catechism at a time until they are memorized, read the accompanying Scripture verses, and in many instances use the content of those questions and answers as the topic of family prayer and praise time.

I am happy to let every parent know that through the Family Ministry, the church is making available, at cost, family devotional kits that utilize catechism material. The primary books we are using come from the Founders Ministry of the Southern Baptist Convention. There are three Truth and Grace Memory Books that are designated for different age levels. Each book contains a different Baptist Catechism with accompanying Scripture verses, Scripture memorization assignments, and the words to great hymns of the faith. One of the best things about these books is that they allow parents to teach and children to learn at their own pace.

You can purchase these books individually ($5.00) or together with the Family Devotional Kits our staff has put together ($24.00). The kits include one Truth and Grace Memory Book, the Family Worship book by Donald Whitney that expresses the theology of family worship, and the Hymns for Kith and Kin accompaniment CD that goes along with many of the hymns printed in the Truth and Grace books. If you are interested in getting any of these resources they will be made available in the church book store located at the Worship Center main entrance beginning Sunday, March 29th.

Grace and Peace,

David

P.S. If you are not a member of First Baptist Church or you attend our Fountain City Campus, let me know if you want any of these resources and I will get them to you.

Inexpensive Date Ideas

2009-02-13T14:31:00.002-05:00

One of the issues that I have really tried to emphasis with married couples is for them to make sure they maintain the habit of dating. In today’s climate, not only is time at a premium but also there is the added issue of a failing economy. So, many couples feel they do not have the time or the money to go out on an occasional date together.

Dealing with the time issue is simple. If a couple has such a busy schedule they do not have time to spend with one another, they are too busy and need to cut back on some lesser important activities. Couples should dedicate at least 10-15 uninterrupted hours per week together and, I believe most can find that time if a true effort is made.

The financial issue is not so easy to overcome. It takes effort and creativity to find activities a couple can do together that are fun and will nurture the relationship. Just the typical dinner and movie night will cost no less than forty bucks. However, that is only attainable if the restaurant is relatively inexpensive and no food or drinks are purchased at the theater. So, is the only option available staying at home? While that may not be a bad idea at times, I think getting out and enjoying life together as a married couple is very important.

Today, I wanted to help out a little by suggesting some relatively inexpensive date night ideas.

• The University of Tennessee hosts a variety of events such as choir and band concerts, plays, topical lectures, forums, movie series, and exhibits. Many of these are very cheap or free. You can see the UT events calendar at http://www.utk.edu/events/events
• The Knoxville Museum of Art hosts a variety of exhibits throughout the year. Their information can be found on the internet at http://www.knoxart.org
• The City of Knoxville hosts a variety of events at the Worlds Fair Park and on Market Square Mall that are almost always free to the public. You can see a calendar of events at http://www.ci.knoxville.tn.us/events/events.pdf
• Check out a local High School sporting event, play, or musical presentation.
• Pack a picnic dinner and drive to the Smokey Mountains in the late evening to star gaze. On a clear nigh the sky is amazing. Find an overlook point, spread out your dinner and enjoy the scenery.
• Plan an old movie night. Many movie rental places carry older movies, some you may have already seen or have always wanted to but never have. Plan a simple meal, pop some popcorn for later, and curl up together to watch the movie.
• Plan a creative pizza night. Go to the store with your spouse and each of you separately choose ingredients to make a small pizza. Be creative with the ingredients by selecting things you have never had on a pizza before or that you think sounds good. Assemble and bake the two pizzas together then have a taste-off to see which is best.
• Take a digital camera and go to 10-12 unusual places around town and have strangers take pictures of you there. Prepare an album of the pictures and share them electronically with your friends.
• What about volunteering to help out a charitable cause you are both passionate about? There are plenty of great Christian agencies that are desperate for volunteers.

Of course, couples should be discerning when selecting events that are hosted by UT, The Knoxville Museum of Art, and the City of Knoxville. Some events may have questionable content or not provide a wholesome atmosphere.

I can hear some parents saying right now, what about the kids. Babysitters are a bulk of the expense when planning a date night. Here are a couple of suggestions. Why not have an agreement with another couple, or couples, to trade out babysitting for one another. Watch a friend’s children one night and let them watch your’s on another night. Another idea is to go together with another couple to offset the expense of the baby sitter. This will only work with small numbers of children and it helps if there is an older, more responsible child in the mix to help out the sitter.

In closing, I hope the state of the economy does not prevent FBC couples from going out on regular dates. Maybe some of the date ideas above will help you find a less costly way to spend time together.

David

Teach Them to Pray

2009-02-04T11:35:00.002-05:00

One of the sweetest things any parent can experience is listening to their child pray. My children are adults now and it still warms my heart when I hear them simply pray for God to bless a meal we are sharing. In that same respect, one of the most fulfilling things a parent can experience is in teaching their child to pray.

Usually, parents begin teaching their preschool children to pray before meals and at bedtime which is a great place to start. This usually involves guiding them to thank God for specific people and blessings He has placed in their lives. The rounds include mentioning each family member by name, the family pet, a favorite toy, the baby sitter, or a friend next door. I especially like to hear what children come up with when they begin to freelance it. You never know what might be said when they openly express to God what is on their hearts.

Once a child starts elementary school, I think it is a good idea to begin teaching them a short, easy to remember, prayer guide. The guide I recommend comes from Pete Lord’s 29:59 prayer journal. It is called 29:59 because you can pray through the daily guides in about thirty-minutes but he did not want people to get legalistic about praying exactly thirty-minutes so he took one second off. This guide is easily adaptable to elementary and youth age children. Though your child will not be able to pray for thirty-minutes until they get older, they can gain an understanding about the important elements of prayer.

Here is a condensed 29:59 guide for children:

1. Let your child trace his hand on a sheet of art paper.
2. Tell your child that he can use his fingers to remember how to pray.
3. Over the thumb, write "Praise".
4. Tell your child to start her prayer by praising God in words or song.
5. Over the first finger, write "Thanksgiving".
6. Tell your child that next she can thank God for something He has done or provided.
7. Over the second finger, write "Confession".
8. Tell your child that, in prayer, it's good to tell God the things she has done wrong.
9. Over the third finger, write "Intercession".
10. Tell your child that he can close his prayer by asking God to help others who need Him.
11. Over the fourth finger, write "Petition".
12. Tell your child that next she should ask God for the things she needs, including asking for forgiveness for the things she confessed.
13. Across the palm of the hand, write “Listen”.
14. Tell your child that prayer is more than just talking to God, it also includes listening to what He has to say.
15. Put the picture up where it can be seen and remembered. When your child has it memorized, she will have the steps in prayer with her all the time.

If you are a parent and have not yet begun the process of teaching your child to pray, I hope this guide will help you get started. It is not too late even if you child is already out of elementary school. The investment made in teaching a child to pray will pay great benefits in their adult life later on.

David

Making the Most of "Teachable Moments"

2009-01-16T22:08:00.006-05:00

When attempting to teach children biblical values, parents must realize that there is so much more involved than simply reading Bible stories to them and praying with them at bedtime. Now, please don’t think I am minimizing these two activities. I personally believe they are tremendously important to the spiritual development of a child. However, I also believe they are just the tip of the iceberg.

We have been told by experts that about 12.5 percent of an iceberg is visible above the waterline while the other 87.5 percent lurks below the surface. There is an indispensable parenting skill that, much like the bulk of an iceberg, often gets overlooked. That skill is seizing teachable moments. This is when a parent recognizes and takes advantage of opportunities, as they arise, to model biblical values in front of their children. Parents should be willing to say to their children the words that the Apostle Paul said to his children in the faith living in Corinth "Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ" I Cor. 11:1

Today I am posting, by permission, an excerpt from a book written by Dr. Steven Carr Reuben titled CHILDREN OF CHARACTER: Leading Your Children to Ethical Choices in Everyday Life. Santa Monica, CA: Canter & Associates 1997. I believe Dr. Reuben hits the nail on the head!

One of the most important skills to nurture as a parent, is the ability to recognize and capitalize on "teachable moments" in everyday life. A teachable moment can happen almost anywhere - in the supermarket, when picking your child up from school, when walking through a shopping mall or setting the table for dinner. Chances are that many of the valuable moral lessons that you learned from your parents as a child were not consciously taught at all. They were rather learned in the midst of casual moments of real life, just as our children's real lessons come from being, living and interacting with us in a hundred different ways we could never predict in advance.

This is why an important key to teaching children ethical behavior is learning to recognize teachable moments through which your children can develop the habit of being aware of ethical challenges. For example, when you are checking out at the supermarket, and the checker inadvertently gives you too much change, or fails to charge you for an item in your cart, that is a teachable moment. As your child watches you point out the mistake or return the change, he or she learns in the most powerful way possible about honesty, integrity, good citizenship and being part of a society.

One of the most common teachable moments happens every time you drive your car with your kids inside. Think of all the lessons they are learning about life and being part the social fabric of the community just by riding in your car. You put on your seat belt, and they learn about personal responsibility and self-respect (after all, you care enough about yourself to protect your body); you let someone in to your lane on the freeway, and they learn about mutual respect for others and doing your part to help society run smoothly; you put money in the meter, stop at the stop sign and obey traffic rules and they learn about good citizenship. And imagine the lesson in caring behavior and ethics they might learn if they saw you putting money in a stranger's parking meter so that they don't get a ticket!

Home, school, work and play are all fertile ground for discovering teachable moments. If you arrive to pick up your child from school and you see a classmate's parents are late in coming, waiting with that child to be sure he or she is OK will teach your child the value of friendship, the importance of social responsibility. Of course one of the best ways to do that is to take your child along as you bring clothes to a homeless shelter, donate food to a foodbank or volunteer for community charity event. Even participating in walking precincts or making phone calls for political candidates will teach them a valuable lesson about citizenship and the importance of being part of the political process.

Finally, here are six keys to recognizing teachable moments:

1.Recognize that your children often learn moral lessons unconsciously,in casual moments.

2.Be aware of situations that represent moral choices.

3.Talk with your children about the ethical challenges represented in everyday situations, the media and popular culture.

4.Praise your children for their ethical choices.

5.Point out ethical behavior in others.

6.Let your children see your own thought processes regarding ethical decisions.

The Exchanged Life

2009-01-07T13:56:00.002-05:00

One of the phrases that we often use in classes and messages is, “the exchanged life”. As near as I can tell, this phrase was first used by the pioneer missionary to China, Hudson Taylor. I think this is a great phrase to describe the Christian life. It would not be a bad translation of Romans 5:8 to say, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died in exchange for us.”

When a person savingly believes in Jesus Christ, think of all the exchanges that take place: Christ exchanges His righteousness for our sin. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NKJV) “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” We exchange our old life in Adam for His resurrection life. Romans 6:6 (NKJV) “knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.” Colossians 3:4 (NKJV) “When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.” We could go on and on with the exchange that takes place. We exchange our weakness for His strength; we exchange our deserved wrath from God as a son of Adam and receive in exchange adoption into God’s family and we become joint-heirs with Christ.

The exchanged life, however, is not just doctrinal truths; it is the practical way we walk in holiness and power daily. Daily, we reckon on what happened at the cross and count by faith that the old us, in Adam, that sin had dominion over is crucified with Christ (Romans 6:6, 11). We reaffirm the presentation of our body to Him in total surrender (Romans 12:1), and we walk through the day abiding in Christ which means that we live in a constant conscious dependence on Christ to empower and direct us. Every demand made on us throughout the day is in reality a demand on Christ in us and He is sufficient. This is the exchanged life. It is really just walking by faith. It is probably best summarized in Galatians 2:20 (NKJV) “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Most believers have somehow missed these “exchanged life” truths even though they are clearly taught in the New Testament. Most believers see the Christian life as simply trying as hard as you can and maybe asking God for a little help. This approach is a flesh empowered approach and always leads to frustration and failure. If this flesh approach is then taught to our children, the error perpetuates itself generation after generation. Some parents discover these exchanged life truths but believe that they are too deep to be understood by children. Actually children grasp these truths more quickly than do most adults because they do not have to unlearn years of programming that the Christian life is “grit your teeth and try as hard as you can”.

When a child comes to Christ, teach him what happened at the cross. His old man (nature) was crucified with Christ and while we still have the old man’s programming (the flesh), we have Christ in us to strengthen us to walk in victory over that flesh. Teach your children the truth as was phrased by Major Ian Thomas, “I can’t; He never said I could. He can and He said He would; I’m going to trust Him”.

Pastor Phil

I Am Resolved

2008-12-31T16:38:00.003-05:00

I have never been a fan of making New Year’s resolutions. There are two primary reasons for this. First, seldom are those resolutions kept until the first of February. Second, the resolutions made always deal with things people should be doing anyway. Usually, they concern issues such as living healthier lifestyles, committing to deeper spiritual pursuits, or spending more time with family. While these are certainly admirable goals, it seems that resolutions such as these only attempt to address symptoms stemming from a more profound problem.

If each of us were to step back and look at our lives and do an honest evaluation, I am sure we would find things we are disappointed with. Each of us could point out things we either need to stop doing or at least get under control. We would find things we have been neglecting to do and should have done sooner. If we wrote these all down, our list would probably get pretty long, and possibly even overwhelming, in no time at all. So, is the answer to try and pick these things off one-by-one in our resolution shooting gallery? I would say no.

Let’s look at a more general but immensely effective approach to making a New Year’s resolution. Here are a few lines from a song titled "I Am Resolved" which was written in 1896 by Palmer Hartsough and James Fillmore:

I am resolved no longer to linger,
Charmed by the world’s delight,
Things that are higher, things that are nobler,
These have allured my sight.

I am resolved, and who will go with me?
Come, friends, without delay,
Taught by the Bible, led by the Spirit,
We’ll walk the heav’nly way.

Is it possible that the answer to overcoming the disappointing attitudes, habits, and behaviors in our lives is as simple as resolving to pursue the “heav’nly way”? Look at the following verses of Scripture from the ESV:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Colossians 3:1-2
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Without question, trusting, acknowledging, and seeking God should be our first priority. Did you notice that these verses present this endeavor as a volitional choice we must make? In other words, we must “resolve” to do it! God has put the ball in our court.

Through surrendering to the lordship of Christ and to the leading of the Holy Spirit, we would supernaturally receive the power to resist temptation and to break old habit patterns? We would receive the motivation and self-discipline we need to develop a closer and deeper walk with God? We would receive the desire and ability to take control of our schedules and to fulfill our family responsibilities? Trust me, resolving to do these things individually and in your own strength would only lead to more disappointment and failure.

Let me close by encouraging you, even if you have no plans of making a resolution this January 1st, to make the pursuit of God your priority this year. This will be the only resolution you should ever need to make. See what a difference it will make in every aspect of your life!

Slappy Holiday

2008-12-18T13:14:00.005-05:00

Why not take the Santa Claus tradition a little further?

by Gene Edward Veith, provost of Patrick Henry College and director of the Cranach Institute at Concordia Theological Seminary

Santa Claus had his origins in St. Nicholas, the fourth-century bishop of Myra in present-day Turkey. Known for his generosity and his love of children, Nicholas is said to have saved a poor family's daughters from slavery by tossing into their window enough gold for a rich dowry, a present that landed in some shoes or, in some accounts, stockings that were hung up to dry. Thus arose the custom of hanging up stockings for St. Nicholas to fill. And somehow he transmogrified into Santa Claus, who has become for many people the secular Christmas alternative to Jesus Christ.

But there is more to the story of Nicholas of Myra. He was also a delegate to the Council of Nicea in AD 325, which battled the heretics who denied the deity of Christ. He was thus one of the authors of the Nicene Creed, which affirms that Jesus Christ is both true God and true man. And unlike his later manifestation, Nicholas was particularly zealous in standing up for Christ.

During the Council of Nicea, jolly old St. Nicholas got so fed up with Arius, who taught that Jesus was just a man, that he walked up and slapped him! That unbishoplike behavior got him in trouble. The council almost stripped him of his office, but Nicholas said he was sorry, so he was forgiven.

The point is, the original Santa Claus was someone who flew off the handle when he heard someone minimizing Christ. Perhaps we can battle our culture's increasingly Christ-less Christmas by enlisting Santa in his original cause. The poor girls' stockings have become part of our Christmas imagery. So should the St. Nicholas slap.

Not a violent hit of the kind that got the good bishop in trouble, just a gentle, admonitory tap on the cheek. This should be reserved not for out-and-out nonbelievers, but for heretics (that is, people in the church who deny its teachings), Christians who forget about Jesus, and people who try to take Christ out of Christmas.

This will take a little tweaking of the mythology. Santa and his elves live at the North Pole where they compile a list of who is naughty, who is nice, and who is Nicean. On Christmas Eve, flying reindeer pull his sleigh full of gifts. And after he comes down the chimney, he will steal into the rooms of people dreaming of sugarplums who think they can do without Christ and slap them awake.

Department store Santas should ask the children on their laps if they have been good, what they want for Christmas, and whether they understand the Two Natures of Christ. The Santas should also roam the shopping aisles, and if they hear any clerks wish their customers a mere "Happy Holiday," give them a slap.

This addition to his job description will keep Santa busy. Teachers who forbid the singing of religious Christmas carols—SLAP! Office managers who erect Holiday Trees—SLAP! Judges who outlaw manger displays—SLAP! People who give The Da Vinci Code as a Christmas present—SLAP! Ministers who cancel Sunday church services that fall on Christmas day—SLAP! SLAP!

Perhaps Santa Claus in his original role as a theological enforcer may not go over very well in our contemporary culture. People may then try to take both Christ and Santa Claus out of Christmas. And with that economic heresy, the retailers would start to do the slapping.

From the St. Nicholas Center, www.stnicholascenter.org.

A Pirate at the Manger

2008-12-10T15:43:00.003-05:00

Well, Black Friday has passed and we are headlong into the Christmas shopping season. Those of us that battle with Scrooge-itis this time of year are well on our way to saying “bah-humbug.” Like many of you, I struggle desperately with the secularization of our Lord’s birthday. I struggle with the rampant materialism that is always present in our society but seems to bubble up out of control every December. Thankfully, there is a cure for Scrooge-itis and joy can be restored even when we so regret what this holiday has become.

The cure for me is focusing on the Christmas story itself. While I love the story in its entirety, especially when Linus recites it from the Gospel of Luke in “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, there are certain elements profoundly meaningful to me. I guess the part of the story surrounding the birth of Christ that restores my joy most effectively is the presence of the shepherds.

The fact that God the Father sent a host of angels to inform this lowly group of people of the Savior’s birth is astonishing. It both reveals the very nature of the Gospel and the heart of God. Remember, these men were outcasts. They were poor. They were unlearned. They were of no social or political significance. They were nobodies! But God, in His grace, made sure that the glorious news of Christ’s birth was extended to them. Their pronouncement to the shepherds was accompanied by a personal invitation to go and find the babe “wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

I was reminded that the Gospel is for all people on Thanksgiving night. Sherron and I went to her cousin’s house to visit after eating dinner with my family. Her cousin has a house full of children, so their home was already decorated for Christmas. Part of their decorations included a Lego manger scene sitting on a sofa table in their living room. The fact that the set was made of Legos was not what made this particular manger scene unique. On further inspection, we were told that one of the wise men had somehow gone missing since his last appearance in 2007. But not to worry, he was provided with an able bodied stand-in. His stand-in was a Lego Pirate on loan from another box of the colorful cubes. I just smiled.

Not only was I reminded that the lowly shepherds were invited to the manger, this year at least, a scurvy Pirate was as well! And lest we forget, we were no better off than any of these outcasts before God drew us to Himself and saved us. We were all in the same boat as the shepherds and the Pirates (no pun intended). Look at Ephesians 2:1-7:

“And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”

We were all poor, wretched, blind, insignificant sinners who were enemies of God. You see, at the manger and at foot of the cross, all men are equal. All are undeserving of God’s grace and forgiveness. All are born into what John Gill called a “sad estate” because we come into this world dead in trespasses and sins. However, the most powerful words in the Book of Ephesians, and possibly in the entire Bible, are the words that begin chapter two, verse four. Those words are “But God…” These words tell us that God did something about our wretched condition because He is rich and mercy and love. He took the initiative to provide, through His Son, a way for us to be revived from spiritual death and to be relieved of the burden and guilt of sin.

For me, focusing on what the birth of Christ was really all about is the perfect cure for “Scrooge-itis.” Let’s keep praising God because His grace and mercy have been extended to the lowly and to the mighty, to the shepherds and to the pirates, to the kings and to the rulers. There is so much to be joyful about year round if you know the Savior so, don’t let the trappings of how Christmas is being celebrated get you down.

Gloria in Excelsis Deo !!!

David

An Unexpected Blessing

2008-12-04T16:30:00.002-05:00

Last week, Sherron and I, along with Chad and Amber Scarbro and Derek and Kristin Duvall spent several days in New York City serving the homeless with the New York School of Urban Ministry. Each year, NYSUM conducts a Thanksgiving event called Operation Drumstick. Church groups from around the country come to help do street ministry to the homeless and to serve them a Thanksgiving meal. The goal for this trip was to determine if Operation Drumstick might provide some of the youth families of First Baptist an opportunity to go on mission together next year. While our team had some amazing experiences serving on the streets of New York, I wanted to share an unexpected blessing that God chose to bestow upon our team.

On the very first morning, as I sat in an alcove on the third floor of NYSUM headquarters having a quite time, a man who looked to be in his early forties stopped to say hello. The man’s name was Brad Wos. Come to find out, Brad is a PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) missionary. He and his family serve in an area near Cape Town South Africa but are in the US on home assignment in St Louis. During our conversation, Brad shared with me that he and his 16 year-old son Andrew had come to New York for a few days to do street evangelism together.

Imagine that, a dad actually taking his son to a big city to show him how to share the Gospel with strangers! Could it be that Brad takes his God-given responsibility to train up his son seriously? Apparently, he really does see himself as Andrew’s primary spiritual role model and looks for ways to teach his son how to express his faith.

Some might be thinking that since Brad is a missionary, he is of a different breed. He is one of God’s called out ones and should be expected to do that type thing. Remember, this family is on home assignment and will be going back to South Africa soon. They are away from their typical area of ministry so, it would certainly be easy for them to chill out in St. Louis and take it easy for a while. Instead, Brad took his son to New York City to witness to people on the street. He is no super-Christian he is just an example of a “normal” Christian father. Oh, that God would give us a wealth of Brads here at FBC!

The team went to NYSUM to seek an opportunity for our parents to model serving and evangelism for their children and God, in His goodness, gave us a living example. I hope this unexpected blessing we received will bless you as well and, maybe even challenge those of you that are parents.

True Love

2008-11-19T09:34:00.004-05:00

Robertson McQuilkin was the president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary from 1968 until 1990. He was a world renowned New Testament Theologian and speaker. After forty years of marriage, Robertson’s wife Muriel became ill and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. By 1990, Muriel was no longer able to speak or to feed and clothe herself. In 1990 Robertson stood before the students and faculty of Columbia Bible College and resigned as president so that he could devote himself full-time to caring for his wife. Muriel lived another 13 years after Robertson’s retirement.

I am adding the following video that contains an audio portion of Robertson’s resignation address along with some pictures of the couple. Please, watch this video and see what true love and commitment look like in marriage. You may want to turn the music off on this blog before playing the video.

World Missions Conference

2008-11-10T22:37:00.005-05:00

My favorite time of year has arrived! It is Fall and I love the cool weather and the clean crisp air. Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, is coming up soon. I think it is my favorite because nobody is expecting a gift from me. While these things add to my personal enjoyment of the season, they are not what I look forward to the most. The event that I anticipate most is our church's World Missions Conference which is coming up this Friday-Sunday. The WMC provides us with some exciting opportunities. It provides time for us to praise God for what He has done around the world the past year through the members of First Baptist Church. We are presented with all the mission opportunities for the coming year. And, we have the privilege of reuniting with missionary friends from around the world along with the chance to get acquainted with some new missionaries.

There is one more opportunity the World Missions Conference presents. It gives parents a springboard to speak to their children about the biblical basis of missions. With just a little effort, this could be the event where their understanding and concern for world missions begins. Parents can plant the seeds of missions support into their children's hearts by helping them understand that when it comes to our personal involvement, going and giving are not optional activities. What a great teaching opportunity the WMC presents for us to possibly raise up the next generation of missions minded Christians at FBC!

As a reminder, children K-5th are invited to spend time with some of our guest missionaries this Saturday from 11:00 am till 2:00pm. Parents are invited to stay and participate as well. Everyone will meet in the G-Force area to eat pizza and hear about what is going on in each missionary's part of the world. If you would like to attend this event please call the church office to sign-up!

I am also very excited to know that the church will be providing more opportunities in the future for families to go on mission together. The Georgia Family Trip has been amazingly successful and the testimonies from the families that have gone have been no less than inspiring. The Family Ministry Staff is praying about offering even more challenging opportunities where family members can fulfill the Great Commission while serving side-by-side. I fully expect there to be a growing number of family mission trips in years to come.

I hope that each First Baptist family will take full advantage of this coming weekend and all the great opportunities it provides.

David

P.S. If you have never attended a Friday night worship service during previous World Missions Conferences, you have missed some of the most amazing worship times in the life of our church. Let me urge you to come and take part this year. You will be glad you did!

Election Opportunities

2008-11-05T15:03:00.003-05:00

Now that the presidential election is finally over, what should be our response to the outcome? I do not want to dive into details of policy issues even though those things will significantly affect us all. I did however want to share some general insight about how we, as Christians, might seize the opportunities that this election has placed before us.

First, we should seize this opportunity to praise God. The only reason I can say this is because I believe in the absolute sovereignty of God. While the outcome of the election was not what I had hoped and prayed for, I trust that God directed the outcome. His will was not thwarted and His plans were not subverted by “the will of the people.” There are no emergency meetings going on in Heaven today! Listen to Job 12:23, “He makes nations great and destroys them; He enlarges nations, and guides them.” We can praise God because He is still on His throne and because He will accomplish His plans through our next president. Even if those plans are to bring us to brokenness and repentance as a nation.

Second, we should seize this opportunity to honor God’s Word. Listen to 1 Peter 2:13-14;17 - “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” As many of you know, Nero, the insane tyrant who joyfully martyred scores of Christians, was the Roman emperor Peter is telling his readers to “subject” themselves to and to “honor”.

We must not allow the outcome of any election to cause us to act contrary to this command of our Lord. We must honor the president because through God alone has he received his authority to lead this country. In John 19:10-11 Jesus confirms this to Pontius Pilate, “Then Pilate said to Him, ‘Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?’ Jesus answered, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above.”

We must also subject ourselves to the president’s authority even when we do not agree with his positions and policies. Of course God is our ultimate authority. Our subjection to church and governmental leaders is conditioned on them not causing us to violate biblical principles. I urge you to read all of 1 Peter 2 to see how Christ provided this example for us to follow.

Third, we should seize this opportunity to trust God. He will direct the heart of our new president. Proverbs 21:1 says “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.” God works through both godly and ungodly rulers to bring His will to pass. A good friend of mine is fond of saying “When we look at the world around us, we say everything is falling apart. When God looks down from heaven, He says everything is coming together.” I am trusting that God will be active in directing the decisions and policies of a new administration to accomplish His purposes.

Finally, we should seize this opportunity to teach our children. This election provides a multitude of talking points where families can discuss important issues concerning our government, society, and culture. If your children are old enough to discuss the issues, use this election to help them develop a biblical worldview.

Continue to pray for our country, our president (both current and future), our legislators, and for our Supreme Court. You may ask, if I truly believe that God is in control and His plans will come to fruition, why encourage prayer? Let me close with this quote by Arthur W. Pink:

“To affirm that God will not and cannot bring to pass His eternal purpose unless we pray, is utterly erroneous, for the same God who has decreed the end has also decreed that His end shall be reached through His appointed means, and one of these is prayer.”

Grace and Peace,

David

Christians and Halloween

2008-10-30T11:50:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the late posting but my computer has been sick for a couple of days.

I wanted to take some time to address the issue of Halloween and the problems it presents for Christian families. I risk receiving a flood of comments from parents that are on either end of the spectrum concerning their personal convictions regarding this day. Some feel their family has the freedom to participate in the traditional secular activities that surround Halloween. Others have deep convictions that their family should completely refrain from participating in activities on October 31. Hopefully, what I have to share will bring some light to the subject for both groups and everyone in the middle.

Halloween is clearly a pagan holiday. Its origins can be easily traced back to the pagan Celtic festival known as Samhain. I won’t bore you with all the history because that information is easily accessible to everyone. Even many of the seemingly harmless traditions and symbols of the day are rooted in pagan practices and represent evil occult activities. So, I do not believe it is appropriate for Christians to celebrate Halloween or participate in its traditions. Specifically, there a few “off limits” activities I believe families should avoid:

Traditional Trick-or-Treating
Wearing costumes that represent scary or evil people/things
Going to parties that celebrate the day
Watching scary movies
Decorating homes with evil symbols (witches, black cats, jack-o-lanterns, etc.)

However, Romans 12:21 says “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” This is the guiding verse I would use when it comes to sharing my personal philosophy of a Christian’s response to Halloween. Maybe it’s my personality, but I am not very fond of passive resistance when it comes to the devil. I find it difficult to understand how turning off the house lights and cowering in the living room hoping no children ring the doorbell wanting candy can be seen as “overcoming evil with good.” James 4:7 says “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” I am promoting an active resistance where we take the fight to the enemy and show him that he will not steal a day that God has ordained for His glory.

I see Halloween as a great opportunity to let the light of Christ shine during the darkest day of the year. I see it as an opportunity to do things that are good in Christ name on a day when there is evil going on all around us. I see it as an opportunity to take the spotlight off the devil and put it on God where it always belongs, even on October 31. I guess what I am saying is that there are many God-honoring activities Christian families can participate in that do not celebrate the day or follow its traditions.

That brings me to KidzFest. This is the Family Ministry’s alternative event to Halloween. Let me take the rest of this post letting you see why the church hosts such an event. As many of you know, the staff of First Baptist Church is very serious about following biblical principles and bringing glory to God in everything we plan by way of programming and events. Here are some specific reasons why I believe it is not inappropriate for us to have Kidzfest on October 31.

KidzFest is not an event that celebrates the origins and traditions of Halloween. It does not celebrate the day as a holiday rather it uses the day as an opportunity for God’s people to show God’s love on God’s property to families in our church and community. I believe it is a true alternative because the spotlight is on God and the motivation behind it is pure and not evil. Several of our people, including one LifeGroup, will be passing out Gospel tracks and doing personal evangelism during the event (allowing the Light to shine in the darkness).

I hear the question now, “What about Trunk-O-Treating? Isn’t it too much like Trick-or- Treating?” My answer is two-fold. First the origin of what we do started with churches. The idea is that we can give, in this case candy, with the love of Christ, no strings attached. This is unlike the traditional form that began from the pagan belief that leaving food or gifts for spirits would prevent them from playing tricks on people. Second, it gives us an opportunity to minister to our community. We are providing a safe and secure environment for families who otherwise would be taking their children door-to-door on our dark county roads. The safety aspect also extends to reducing the risk of children possibly receiving tainted candy and being exposed to sexual predation.

Finally, it helps the church maintain its witness in the community. Over the years we have seen large numbers of unchurched people attend KidzFest. I have seen first hand how our members have shown unconditional love to those families, especially the children. The kindness and gentleness that is expressed on that night is something God can and will use to speak to the hearts of these unchurched families. As an added benefit, as more and more churches host events like KidzFest, we are seeing a dramatic decline in the number of families participating in the traditional way.

In Matthew 5:15-16 Jesus said “Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Even if you do not plan on coming to KidzFest, let me encourage you to let your light shine on October 31. Give out Gospel tracks to the children that come to your door, host a non-Halloween party and invite unchurched neighbors to attend, or do something good like visit a nursing home. I cannot help but believe God will be pleased when his people “overcome evil with good.”

If you want to direct questions to me about the contents of this article please send them to me via email, so I can respond.

Love to all,

David

Marriage: The Key Ingredient

2008-10-21T10:42:00.002-04:00

Over the past couple of decades, I have counseled with a large number of married couples that were seeking biblical advice on how to either improve or repair their marriages. While I have found that marriage problems, and the biblical solutions to those problems vary, there are typically some key ingredients missing when Christian marriages begin to falter. In order to provide better counsel, I have intentionally looked for common issues that come up when couples share with me their daily relational difficulties. Today, I wanted to disclose what I believe to be a key, if not the key ingredient, that must be present in any fulfilling and God-honoring marriage. Sadly, I have found that his ingredient is too often missing among Christian couples. That ingredient is grace!

As Christians, we love to talk and to sing about God’s grace. We love to read books about it and hear sermons about it. We celebrate the fact that salvation itself has been offered to us through the free unmerited and undeserved favor of God. It is truly amazing! However, do we as joyfully imitate this wonderful attribute of God as we sing about it? What I have observed in struggling marriages is that many times a husband and wife are not willing to extend the same free and unmerited favor to one another that God has extended to them. When grace is absent, performance based acceptance and self-centered attitudes prevail which will eventually destroy a marriage.

What does grace practiced between a husband and wife look like? First of all, needs will be met and goodness will be expressed unconditionally. When grace is present, needs are not met based upon whether a spouse earns it or deserves it. Showing goodness is not dependant upon the possibility of the gesture being reciprocated. It is done solely as an act of obedience that glorifies God by reflecting His nature and character. Romans 5:6 says “For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.” When Jesus came to earth He came to glorify the Father by expressing goodness to us through meeting our most significant need, our need of salvation. He did this while we were His enemies dead in trespasses and sins.

Listen to the condition we were in when God extended His grace to us “you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.” (Eph. 2:2-3) Jesus died for uncaring, self-absorbed, and wicked people like you and I who instead deserve God’s wrath. How could we withhold goodness from our mates or refuse to meet their needs because they sometimes do not treat us the way we believe we deserve? Grace requires us to show goodness to our spouse by meeting their needs regardless of merit.

Second, grace in practice always includes forgiveness. Colossians 1:13-14 says, “He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.” There is nothing we can do in our own effort to earn or gain forgiveness and acceptance from God. It is only through faith in the shed blood of Christ that we may be cleansed from all unrighteousness. Should we not as freely extend forgiveness to our mate when they wrong us? Paul encourages us in Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Are you harboring unforgiveness towards your spouse for something they have said or done? If so, grace requires that you grant them the same undeserved pardon that God, through Christ, has granted to you.

Expressing grace in marriage can only happen when a husband and wife completely depend upon the supernatural ability that comes through their surrendered relationship to Christ. It isn’t easy, but it is required. Graciously, with what God requires He provides the desire and the ability to accomplish for our good and for His glory! “For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.” (2 Cor. 4:15)

Personal Life Lessons

2008-10-09T15:43:00.002-04:00

As I write this article, my family and I are preparing for a much needed vacation at the beach. We like going to Gulf Coast beaches this time of year for several reasons. It is still warm but there are much fewer people, traffic problems, and distractions to deal with. We can truly relax and enjoy spending uninterrupted time together.

You probably really don’t care too much about my vacation plans, but I wanted to share an important event that will take place while my family is together next week. This event has already begun to stir up memories and cause reflection on my part. The event that has caused me to wax nostalgic is the celebration of my youngest daughter’s 21st birthday! I am so glad that our family will be away together to celebrate this milestone in Annissa’a life. It is almost incomprehensible that my baby girl is turning 21.

As I think back over the years that Sherron and I have spent raising our children, I have memories of good times and not so good times, times when I felt like a great parent and times when I felt like a complete failure as a parent. Despite those failures, God has been faithful to see my family through difficult times and to show us that He is in control and works all things together for our good. With that said, I wanted to share a few things that I have learned as a parent. This is not an exhaustive list but it does represent some of the major lessons that I learned, often times “the hard way.”

First of all, as the head of my home, I would have more often made the right decision rather than the expedient or popular decision. I have experienced the Holy Spirit’s conviction and the inevitable consequences that come from not standing firm when facing family and cultural pressure. Thankfully, I can only remember a handful of times that I allowed this to happen. But, even after the passing of several years, those few times are still painful to remember.

Second, I would have been much more vigilant in filtering what came into my home through television and media. While Sherron and I were more diligent than most other parents we knew, I don’t think we went far enough. I am glad that we were parenting during the early days of internet and video game popularity. Today, if a parent does not stay informed and alert, some really bad things can creep into their home. As a side note, where did the idea that children in the home have a right to privacy? I don’t know where the idea came from, but I have spoken with many Christian parents that are reluctant to snoop around and see what their children are watching on television, looking at on the internet, and playing on their video game system. My advice is to get over it, and find out where Satan is trying to invade your home and the lives of your children then close the door tight!

Finally, I wish I had understood how closely my children were watching my daily walk with Christ and how much influence it would have upon them. I know there were times that this influence was very positive, but there were also times it was not. Children watch and learn from their parents. When they see inconsistency between what their parents say and what they do, children recognize it and typically imitate it. Early on in my Christian life, just prior to becoming a parent, my assumption was that if Sherron and I kept our children in church everything would be alright. However, I later came to understand that nothing could take the place of my personal involvement in their spiritual development and the model I set before them to follow.

Well, I have covered some of these same issues in other articles, but thank you for allowing me to be a little more personal. Maybe that is what I like so much about King David in the Old Testament. He set a great example, but like me, many times the example he set was how not to do things. If anyone can get some encouragement or insight from my mistakes, then to God be the glory for allowing it to happen.

Headed for sun and fun,

David

A Puritan Perspective

2008-10-02T10:48:00.002-04:00

The Puritans emerged in England during the mid-sixteenth century. They were Reformers from a number of religious groups that were frustrated with the slow progress of the Reformation in the Anglican Church. Their movement essentially began out of a desire for more purity of worship and doctrine within the church and a desire to encourage personal holiness in the lives of Believers. The Puritans had an unshakeable confidence in God, a fervent commitment to His Word, and exhibited lives of steadfast devotion to both. From the pens of such Puritans as John Bunyan, John Owen, Thomas Watson, Stephen Charnock, and Jonathan Edwards have came some of the most important works of Christian literature and volumes of in-depth writings on biblical doctrine.

I mention the Puritans because it is said that they had a “theocentric” (Theos- God; centric – centered) worldview. They related everything in their lives to the nature, character, and purposes of God. William Ames, another Puritan writer, expressed this God-centered worldview with these words, “Men live to God when they live in accord with the will of God, to the glory of God, and with God working in them.” Their ability to step back from every physical, emotional, and spiritual issue and gaze upon it from God’s vantage point is a quality for which every Christian should hunger.

With this in mind, I wonder how the Puritans would perceive the typical Christian of today? Or better yet, let’s insert the above average tithing, serving, mission trippin’ First Baptist Church member instead of the typical Christian. I think they would see some very dedicated people compared to the modern norm. According to their own sanctified standards however, I believe they would be able to point out areas in all our lives where we fall far short of truly having a theocentric worldview. What if a Puritan was able to follow us around during a typical day? And, what if he was given permission to whack us with a stick when we responded to a trial, made a decision, or failed to fulfill a responsibility from self-centeredness? Many of us would end up in the emergency room before nightfall! Plus, I think most of the Puritans I have read would enjoy the opportunity.

When a theocentric person faces an unexpected trial that has the potential to shake their world and leave them overtaken in worry, their response will be to “count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” (James 1:2-3) When that person is tempted to make their spouse pay an emotional price for hurting them in some insignificant way, their response will be “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgive one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph.4:32) When they are faced with family pressure to spend their money and time on weekends of entertainment rather than investing some of those resources into Kingdom work, their response will be, “Will a man rob God?” (Malachi 3:8). I could keep going but you get the point.

To close, let me share J.I. Packer’s comparison of the Puritans and modern evangelicals, “They were characteristically cautious, serious, realistic, steady, patient, persistent in well-doing and avid for holiness of heart; we, by contrast, too often show ourselves to be characteristically brash, euphoric, frivolous, superficial, naïve, hollow, and shallow.” May God grant that we rise above these things Packer says are characteristic of Christians today! May we never be satisfied with a shallow and superficial relationship with God or a hollow form of obedience to His Word! May we develop a theocentric worldview that helps us more passionately pursue personal holiness and persistence in well-doing! My challenge is that we prayerfully examine our lives and allow God to reveal any self-centeredness that exists and replace it with God-centeredness.

The Time Trap

2008-09-25T10:40:00.002-04:00

What an incredibly effective strategy Satan has implemented to weaken Christian homes. He truly is our cunning and deceitful adversary. Even though he is a defeated foe because of Calvary, he is still very active in opposing us. So, it would be wise for us to be familiar with his methods of operation so that we will not be duped by his “schemes” (Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. Eph. 6:11).

In a recent poll conducted on this blog, those who participated indicated that busy schedules are their number one obstacle to having consistent family devotional time. I am not surprised at all by those results because I believe this reveals the primary tactic Satan has employed to keep Christian families today from pursing God’s agenda for their lives.

I truly believe that Satan’s strategy is to use cultural pressure and expectations to tempt Christian families into overly committing themselves to activities that provide little or no spiritual benefits. Many Christian parents would agree that the spiritual health of their children should be their most important priority. But then, have to face multiple temptations to fall into the mainstream trap of allowing too many spiritually unproductive activities to soak up their discretionary time.

Gone are the days when a child would normally be allowed to play on one organized sport team each year. Today, children are pushed to become multi-sport athletes before they have even learned to run to first base after they hit the ball. While sports alone can be consuming (I am speaking from experience), a child learning to play a musical instrument or joining various clubs at school may be added to the schedule as well. Factor in a parent’s work schedule and individual interests and soon anything that might provide some spiritual benefit has been squeezed out of the picture.

Please, do not misinterpret what I am saying. The activities I mentioned are not bad things, and sometimes they do help teach your child discipline, teamwork, and diligence. However, parents must resist the pressure to over commit and then seek moderation so that spiritually beneficial activities are incorporated into their family’s schedule. I want to close by sharing a few thoughts that might help you win this battle for your family’s time.

-Avoid letting your schedule dictate your family’s priorities. What consumes your time, money and energy is by default your priority.

-Avoid the false guilt that you are in some way neglecting your child if you do not allow them to be involved in everything they wish. This also goes for material things as well.

-Avoid letting your child dictate your schedule. Children want to do everything and have no sense of moderation and time restraints. You are the adult so you determine your family’s schedule.

-Avoid the temptation to make the popular decision over the right decision when it comes to family activities. Parents are responsible for leading their family on a godly path not gaining popularity with their children. The pressure to be a “cool parent” is intense these days.

-Set aside “sacred time” every day for your family to have devotions together. Sacred time means that nothing gets scheduled over it and nothing prevents it except a true emergency. In the morning is typically the best time to have family devotions. However, you may find that a different time of day helps your family to be more consistent.

-Stay informed about church activities that are provided for families to participate in together. The newsletter and church website are good sources of information.

-Be proactive in planning opportunities for your family to eat, play, and talk with one another when you are at home together. If you are not a particularly creative person, like myself, there are resources at the Christian bookstore and online that can help give you some ideas.

-Remember, as Christians, we are swimming against the flow. Your family will look different from the cultural norm if you are truly making God’s agenda yours. Don’t mind if your family seems “peculiar.”

Ephesians 5:15-16 says “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Are you walking wisely as you plan the use of your family’s time?

The Myth of Adolescence

2008-09-17T15:45:00.003-04:00

This week I am posting an article written by Alex Harris. Alex and his 19 year old twin brother Brett are founders of TheRebelution.com website that is dedicated to challenging low expectations for teens. They are the most widely read teen authors on the web and are co-authors of the book Do Hard Things. This article is more lengthy that I usually post but it is well worth the time it takes to read.

The Myth of Adolescence
by Alex Harris

The trained elephant of India is a perfect picture of the power of psychological captivity. Tamed and utilized for its enormous strength, the great beast stands nearly 10 feet tall and weighs up to 5 tons when fully grown. Its tasks may include uprooting full-grown trees, hauling great boulders, and carrying enormous loads on its shoulders. And yet, when the day's work is done and this powerful beast must be kept from wandering off during the night, its owner simply takes a piece of twine, attaches it to a small branch embedded in the ground, and ties it around the elephant's right hind leg. Reason dictates that the elephant can easily snap the twine or pull the twig from the ground, and yet the owner does not worry, fully confident that when morning comes he will find the animal exactly where he left him. And he does.

I'll admit that upon first hearing of this practice, I couldn't decide which was harder to believe: that the owner was confident, or that his confidence proved justified. A beast that can uproot trees is suddenly unable to pull up a twig? What is it about the piece of twine and the small branch that allows them to subdue all of the elephant's power? I soon discovered that it had little to do with the twine around the elephant's ankle, and everything to do with invisible shackles around its mind.

My contention is simple: The young adults of our generation are the elephant. Our twine is the 20th century concept of adolescence. Our twig is societal expectations. We stand restrained as a hurting world burns around us. Yet our twine and twig are of a recent origin. Young adults of the past were not so encumbered.

David Farragut, the U. S. Navy's first admiral, became a midshipman on the warship Essex at the age of 10. At the age of 12, a mere boy by modern standards, Farragut was given command of his first ship, sailing a captured vessel, crew, and prisoners, back to the U. S. after a successful battle. Young David was given responsibility at an early age, and he rose to the occasion.

The father of our country, George Washington, though never thought to be particularly bright by his peers, began to master geometry, trigonometry, and surveying when he would have been a 5th or 6th grader in our day and ceased his formal education at 14 years of age. At the age of 16 he was named official surveyor for Culpepper County, Virginia. For the next three years, Washington earned nearly $100,000 a year (in modern purchasing power). By the age of 21, he had leveraged his knowledge of the surrounding land, along with his income, to acquire 2,300 acres of prime Virginia land.

These examples astound us in our day and age, but this is because we view life through an extra social category called 'adolescence', a category that would have been completely foreign to men and women just 100 years ago. Prior to the late 1800s there were only 3 categories of age: childhood, adulthood, and old age. It was only with the coming of the early labor movement with its progressive child labor laws, coupled with new compulsory schooling laws, that a new category, called adolescence, was invented. Coined by G. Stanley Hall, who is often considered the father of American psychology, 'adolescence' identified the artificial zone between childhood and adulthood when young people ceased to be children, but were no longer permitted by law to assume the normal responsibilities of adulthood, such as entering into a trade or finding gainful employment. Consequently, marriage and family had to be delayed as well, and so we invented 'the teenager', an unfortunate creature who had all the yearnings and capabilities of an adult, but none of the freedoms or responsibilities.

Teenage life became a 4-year sentence of continuing primary education and relative idleness known as 'high school' (four years of schooling which would later be repeated in the first two years of college). Abolished by law were the young Farraguts and young Washingtons, who couldn't spare the time to be children any longer than necessary. Cultivated instead was the culture we know today, where young people are allowed, encouraged, and even forced to remain quasi-children for much longer than necessary.

The effect of this seismic shift in America's philosophy of education is not limited to students in the public schools. As homeschoolers we may feel as though we have escaped the danger, but an honest evaluation proves that, as a whole, we also fall short of realizing our potential. After reading the examples of great men of our country's past, we should recognize that there is no reason why a 13 to 18 year old cannot behave as a responsible adult. History proves it is possible. Diverse cultures confirm its validity. The only thing holding young people back in America today is the twine of this perpetual recess called adolescence and the twig of lowered social expectations. We expect immaturity and irresponsibility, from ourselves and from one another, and that is exactly what we get.

I wrote of the great elephants of India, who, although they have the physical capacity to uproot trees during the day, can be restrained all night long by a piece of twine and a twig. How is this possible?

The elephant's training begins when it is still young and considerably less powerful. Removed from its mother, the elephant is then shackled with an iron chain to a large tree. For days and weeks on end, the baby elephant strains against its restraints, only to find that all exertion is useless. Then slowly, over a period of several weeks, sometimes months, smaller chains and smaller trees are used. Eventually, you can use a piece of twine and a small branch, and the great beast will not budge. Its mind is fully committed to the idea that it cannot go anywhere when there is something around its right hind leg.

And so I ask my generation, individually and corporately, "What is holding us back?" History demonstrates that we are far more capable than we think we are. Our failure to realize substantial achievement at early ages is due, not to any innate inadequacies on our part, but rather to our social conditioning. American society, with its media-saturated youth culture, not only follows trends and fads, but it creates them. Classrooms, TV shows, magazines, and websites are not only addressing us at the level of social expectations, but they are in fact dictating those expectations. They tell us how to act, think, and talk; they tell us what to wear, what to buy, and where to buy it; they tell us what to dream, what to value, and what to hate. We are being squeezed into a mold where there is no room for Christian character or competence. And as the famous proverb goes, "As the twig is bent, so grows the tree."

In what could be considered the most maddening aspect of this crisis, not all areas of maturity are being stunted. In a powerful demonstration of teenagers' ability to meet the expectations set before them, we witness young people today reaching unprecedented levels of technological proficiency and sexual experience. It is ironic that many teenagers, while fluent in multiple computer languages, are not expected to carry on an intelligent conversation with an adult. It is heartbreaking that so many young girls, while constantly pressed to become more and more sexually alluring, are not expected to attain any notable level of character beneath the surface.

Our world cannot last another generation of Christian young people who fit in. The shackles of society are on our minds and hearts, not our ankles. We are held back only by the myth of adolescence and the lies of social expectations. If we would only recognize that our restraints are illusory, and then let God's Word and all of history govern our sense of what we are capable of, we would be a force this world could no longer ignore.

We face a crisis and an opportunity. A crisis, in the sense that we can no longer afford to slowly drift towards adulthood, viewing the teen years as a vacation from responsibility, and an opportunity, in the sense that we can embrace life now and make a difference for the glory of God, and for the good of our family, our nation, and our world. Look down at your "ankle" and see the pathetic contrivance that has been restraining you. Now renew your mind in the light of God's Word and take a step forward.

Taming the Tongue

2008-09-10T15:25:00.003-04:00

Sherron and I love to go on vacation to Charleston, South Carolina. We especially enjoy taking guided tours through this beautiful city to learn more about its rich history. One of our favorite places to spend time is around the old Slave Market area. We like it because this part of town presents numerous shopping opportunities for Sherron and plenty of eating opportunities for me. While taking one of the tours, we learned that the term “Slave Market” is very misleading for visitors. It implies that this was a place where slaves were sold and purchased. That is not the case. In fact, there are no historical records of the slave trade ever being conducted at this centuries old market.

The Slave Market earned its name for a less ominous reason. It was a typical outdoor market where people would go to purchase food and household items for their homes. Along with this came a multitude of butcher stands that provided meat and poultry for the shoppers. Because there were no strict sanitation laws in that day, the butchers simply discarded the blood and animal parts that they could not sell onto the roadside. You can imagine that in the summer heat of Charleston, it did not take long for these leftovers to turn into a rancid stinking mess! They say the odor was so bad that slave owners would not go to the market themselves but rather, send their slaves to endure the nauseating experience, hence, “The Slave Market.”

I share this historical account because it may help us to gain a better understanding of a biblical Greek word. The word is "sapros" and it means rotten, decayed, or putrefied. It was used in New Testament times when someone was describing meat or vegetables that were in the last stages of decomposition, such as existed around the Charleston Slave Market. It is the word Paul uses in Ephesians 4:29 when he says “Let no corrupt (sapros) word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, uses a very graphic word to describe speech that is less than edifying and that does not “impart grace to the hearers.”

Corrupt words include, but are not limited to, cursing or taking the Lord’s name in vain. They also include words spoken with a bitter spirit, angry words, hurtful words, impatient words, gossip, slander, lying, exaggeration, and the like. Imagine, God describes the language that many Christians have trouble controlling, as being like rotten, rancid meat in His sight. If we would only have the same level of disgust that God has when we use “corrupt” words, maybe we would be more diligent in following Colossians 4:6 which states “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

I wanted to share these thoughts here on the Family Ministry Blog because I believe the home is the environment where we are most likely to experience the deepest struggle. Why? Home is the place where our patience can be tested on almost a daily basis. It is the place where we will most easily let our guard down and allow our emotions to take control. It is the place where we are most easily tempted to justify ourselves when we fail to follow through on a commitment. In short, it is the place where, if we are not careful, we can lose control of our tongues.

Most of the time, you will not have to cope with earth shattering events in the home. You will however, experience daily inconveniences and frustrations that can eventually get the best of you. If you are not abiding in Christ and trusting the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in you, those daily difficulties may cause you to slip into the habit of using unwholesome speech. When this happens, it can be extremely harmful to your marriage and to your relationship with your children. It also teaches your children that it is alright to say harmful things when they get upset.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Are you sensitive to the words you use? Do you use your words to build up and breathe life into your family members? If not, may I suggest that you spend time with the Lord in repentance? Ask Him to supply all the resources you need to overcome the fleshly temptation to use language that hurts and tears down.

David

Teach Them Early

2008-09-03T18:08:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, I had the privilege of hearing George Barna speak at the National Preschool and Children’s Conference in Nashville. George Barna is the founder of The Barna Group, a market research firm specializing in studying the religious beliefs and behavior of Americans. In his address, Barna presented some staggering information his researchers had uncovered concerning the spiritual formation of children. I wanted to share some of his research findings to emphasis how important it is to begin the spiritual development of children at an early age.

First, a person’s moral foundations are generally in place by the time they reach age nine. While those foundations are refined and the application of those foundations may shift to some extent as the individual ages, their fundamental perspectives on truth, integrity, meaning, justice, morality, and ethics are formed quite early in life. After their first decade, most people simply refine their views as they age without a wholesale change in those leanings.

Second, a person’s response to the meaning and personal value of Jesus Christ’s life, death and resurrection is usually determined before a person reaches eighteen. In fact, a majority of Americans make a lasting determination about the personal significance of Christ’s death and resurrection by age 12.

Third, Barna showed data indicating that in most cases people’s spiritual beliefs are irrevocably formed when they are pre-teens. Upon comparing data from a national survey of 13-year-olds with an identical survey among adults, Barna found that the belief profile related to a dozen central spiritual principles was identical between the two groups. Those beliefs included perceptions of the nature of God, the existence of Satan, the reliability of the Bible, perceptions regarding the after-life, the holiness of Jesus Christ, the means of gaining God’s favor, and the influence of spiritual forces in a person’s life.

"In essence,” the researcher noted, “what you believe by the time you are 13 is what you will die believing. Of course, there are many individuals who go through life-changing experiences in which their beliefs are altered, or instances in which a concentrated body of religious teaching changes one or more core beliefs. However, most people’s minds are made up and they believe they know what they need to know spiritually by age 13. Their focus in absorbing religious teaching after that age is to gain reassurance and confirmation of their existing beliefs rather than to glean new insights that will redefine their foundations.” (Words in italics were obtained from The Barna Group of Ventura, California)

Wow! Your child’s moral foundations will be “in place by age nine!” Their religious beliefs will most likely be “irrevocably formed” by the time they are 13! When I heard these findings presented, especially by a trusted and reliable source, I was taken back. To me, it pointed out the urgency Christian parents should sense when it comes to guiding the spiritual formation of their children. You can’t start too early!

In closing, I want to say something to parents with children that are past the ages of 9 and 13. It is not too late! You can still have significant influence in your child's life by providing them with biblical instruction and being a positive role model for them to follow. Start now and they may point back to the day you made this commitment as one of their “life-changing experiences” Barna mentioned.

The Family Ministry Staff wants to be a resource for you as you disciple your children so please contact any one of us if you need information or assistance.

David

The Importance of Family Prayer

2008-08-28T09:47:00.002-04:00

While doing some research on family ministry, I came across an article written by the seventeenth century English Puritan Rev. Thomas Doolittle. The article was entitled “7 Reasons Families Should Pray.” I think you will find the reasons Doolittle gives for families praying together very relevant to our lives today. Here are the seven reasons:

REASON 1: Because we receive every day family-mercies from the hand of God. He loads us daily with His benefits (Psa. 68:9).

REASON 2: You should pray to God daily in your families, because there are sins committed every day in your families.

REASON 3: You should pray in your families daily unto God, because you have many daily family-wants, which none can supply but God.

REASON 4: You should pray in your families daily because of your families' daily employments and labors. Every one that puts his hand to work, his head to contrive, should set his heart to pray.

REASON 5: You should pray to God in your families daily, because you are all every day liable to temptations. As soon as you wake, the devil will be striving for your first thoughts.

REASON 6: You should pray in your families daily because all in your families are liable to daily hazards, casualties, and afflictions. And prayer might prevent them, or obtain strength to bear them, and prepare you for them.

REASON 7: You must pray to God in your families daily, or the very Heathen will rise up against you Christians and condemn you.

Could anyone say, after reading these seven reasons for family prayer, that it should not be one of the most important activities of family life? I would even say that if you are not currently having family devotions, at least take time to pray together before everyone heads out in different directions. This typically won’t take a great deal of time but it has huge benefits.

Here are some pointers for leading effective prayer time in your home:

Keep it social - Take time to allow each family member to share their personal prayer requests. Even smaller children can articulate their concerns.

Keep it reverent - Don’t allow silliness during prayer time or requests that are not truly heartfelt.

Keep it brief - Remember, your children have short attention spans so many times one sentence prayers for each request is sufficient.

Keep it focused - I have found using a guide for prayer such as A.C.T.S. (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication) can be a useful tool for keeping prayers focused and inclusive of important elements. I often use Praise, Thanksgiving, Confession, Intercession, and Supplication as a guide to my prayers.

Keep it instructional - You are modeling prayer for your children, and they are learning from you how to pray.

Keep it current - Track weekly requests and take time to praise God for answered prayer.

My prayer is that these pointers, and Rev. Doolittle’s seven reasons for family prayer, will challenge you to begin a daily prayer time with your family. If you are already doing this, may they serve as an encouragement to you.

David

Parenting With Purpose

2008-08-25T10:49:00.001-04:00

Proverbs 22:6 is arguably the best known verse in the Bible on raising children. It says in the ESV, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” It also may be one of the most misapplied verses as well. When I was a young parent and a relatively new Christian, I remember thinking this verse was a promise I could hang my hat on. I believed it was telling me that if I raised my children to walk in God’s way I could rest assured that they would grow up to be godly, well behaved, and productive Christians. I even acknowledged that they might possibly stray some day but, I believed it would only be for a short time before returning to the right path.

Now, as a more mature Christian and better experienced parent, I realize that even our best parenting efforts sometimes do not produce the desired results in our children. So, I was left to answer the question, is Proverbs 22:6 misleading or, do I just need to better understand the nature of a proverb? One commentator I read helped shed some light by explaining, “A proverb is a literary device whereby a general truth is brought to bear on a specific situation. Many of the proverbs are not absolute guarantees for they express truths that are necessarily conditioned by prevailing circumstances.” In other words, a proverb is not a promise. It simply offers practical wisdom about the usual effects of certain actions and attitudes in specific situations.

I do not draw attention to this proverb to discourage parents. Rather, I believe it helps us step back for a moment and evaluate the underlying motive behind our parenting efforts. If raising children that will behave, show respect, and not cause us grief is the primary reason we follow biblical parenting principles, our motives need to be readjusted.

Why should we follow God’s direction to “raise up a child in the way he should go” or to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”? (Eph. 6:4) What should be our primary motive? First and foremost, it should be that God receive glory from our obedience to His instructions and commands. When we, in surrender and obedience, faithfully fulfill the role God has given us as Christian parents, His name is honored. If we do it simply because we might receive the blessing of well-behaved children, it reveals we are seeking God’s gifts rather than His glory.

Wanting to see our children grow up to be godly young men and women is not a bad motive. Wanting peace in our homes that stem from obedient and respectful children is not a bad motive. However, these should always be secondary motives. In addition, when we have God’s glory as our primary motivation, it helps us understand that He is in control of the results anyway. It takes the pressure off of us to produce the results only He can produce. Also, He may choose to use the pain stemming from a rebellious child to further conform us to the likeness of Christ. I hope you see that opportunities abound in child-rearing for God to reveal himself to you and to show Himself faithful in your life.

My closing word here is to follow hard after God as you parent, seek to glorify Him in all that you do, and then trust Him with the results. By doing this you will live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

David

A Challenge to Men

2008-08-21T09:58:00.001-04:00

Before I begin, I want to acknowledge that there are many men at First Baptist Church that are faithfully fulfilling their role as the spiritual leader of their home. They take their God-given responsibilities seriously and, in His power, seek to honor Him through their obedience. For this, I am very thankful!

However, as we embark on this journey to become family focused, I feel it is important that I throw out a challenge to the fathers and husbands who consistently neglect their leadership role. The challenge is to stand up and become the Spirit-filled leader of your home! God has commanded it of you and your family needs it from you. This is an unambiguous issue that calls for either obedience or disobedience. As Pastor Phil said in his sermon Sunday night, “Partial obedience is disobedience; to delay is disobedience; selective obedience is not obedience at all, it is only convenience.” So, unless you have made a settled decision to be disobedient to God, you do not have a choice in the matter.

During my years of ministering to families, men have given me scores of reasons for neglecting their role as spiritual leader of their home. Their number one excuse is that they feel inadequate. Any man who reads the Bible enough to know what God requires of husbands and fathers ought to feel inadequate. Men are commanded in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her., In Ephesians 6:4 Paul says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These two verses alone should reveal to a man that unless he is totally dependent upon the power of the Holy Spirit and the resources He provides, he will be a complete failure at this task!

What does it mean to be the spiritual leader of your home? It means you consistently provide a godly example for your family to follow. In your personal walk with the Lord and in your relationship with them, you model what it means to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). You model sacrificial love and putting the needs of others first (Phil. 2:3-4). You encourage them to develop spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible, study, and worship (Phil. 3:17). You exemplify setting priorities and making decisions according to biblical principles by following that rule in your own life (Psalm 119:9). It is very evident that being the spiritual leader of your home is no small undertaking. But, in what God requires of us, He graciously supplies all that we need to accomplish it.

Every husband and father will stand before God some day and give an account for his obedience or disobedience in fulfilling these responsibilities. And may I lovingly say, no excuse will suffice if these responsibilities have been neglected. If you have not already done so, will you take a stand for God in your home? Will you confess your neglect of your role to God, repent of your disobedience, and then become the Spirit-filled leader your family needs? The spiritual health of your family depends upon it!

David

What Is Family Ministry?

2008-08-18T09:48:00.002-04:00

The term "Family Ministry" has been bouncing around First Baptist for several months now. I have written a couple of Encounters articles about it, the staff has been discussing it, and I have shared certain elements of it with individuals. However, I don't think I have adequately communicated a proper definition of the term "family ministry" as it is being used. In this post, I want to attempt to do just that as briefly and as clearly as possible.

First of all, when you hear me, or any other staff member, speaking about family ministry we are not talking about a program. We are talking about a philosophy that will guide our ministry efforts. The staff believes this philosophy provides us with a more biblical approach for ministering to families, helps us better define the church’s role in that, and helps us prioritize everything we do.

Using a much overused term, the staff is going through a "paradigm shift". We are moving from the traditional church centered, home supported ministry approach to one that is home centered and church supported. The traditional approach encourages families to provide support and resources to the church so it can disciple their children effectively. In other words, the home helps the church to be the best it can be.

The new approach promotes that the church do all it can to provide training and support for parents to disciple their own children effectively. The church exists to partner with homes to help them be all that God desires them to be. In other words, the church says to the parents, “Our role is to be a resource of ideas, training, and encouragement that helps you provide spiritual leadership and biblical training for your children in the environment of your home.”

I read an article recently that said most churches operate their preschool, children, and youth ministries like a Dry Cleaners. The quote went something like this; “You swing in, drop off your precious personals into the hands of a stranger, get a little impatient if it takes too long, and pick up your items all 'fixed.' In a world of drop-off children’s activities, many ministries have followed suit. You drop off your kids at school, athletics, tutoring, etc, so why not drop off your children for their spiritual education at the local church?” This presents a fairly accurate picture of the traditional approach of which I am speaking. You can see that it clearly usurps the biblical responsibility of parents.

Let me give you a real life example of how the new approach operates. In a recent planning meeting, the youth staff was discussing the idea of hosting another abstinence education weekend. Traditionally, we would have had an organization like True Love Waits come in for the weekend and teach the youth about the dangers of sexual promiscuity. With our new approach guiding them, the youth staff decided that hosting this type event would usurp the biblical role of parents to provide that instruction. Instead they decided to host an event where parents could come and receive training on how to discuss abstinence issues with their children. Do you see what a tremendous difference this makes in how the church attempts to minister to families?

In closing, there are other elements to family ministry that are important as well. We will promote a strong biblical view of marriage. We will encourage and equip men to be the spiritual leaders of their homes. We will provide support for single parents and blended families. And finally, we will provide opportunities for families to Connect, Grow, Serve, and Share together (I will address this in future articles).

I am aware that this new approach to family ministry certainly raises many questions. For example, what about youth and children that attend FBC but their parents don’t? This question, and many others, is what the staff is working to provide answers for as we meet together. Your comments and suggestions are always welcomed.

David

P.S. Look for a new post on Thursday!

Welcome to the Blog!

2008-08-13T14:23:00.005-04:00

Well, I have been dragged kickin' and screamin' into the 21st Century. I even have a Facebook page now. I told some friends just a few weeks ago that a guy my age did not need a Facebook page and that I would probably never have one. Then, after accepting an invitation to view a friend's page, I saw how many people in our church have one, even people my age and older!!! My first thought was "this could be a great ministry tool." Then I was invited to view a member's Blogspot (thanks Ginger). I thought "this could be an even better ministry tool!"

Things kind of took off from there. After consulting with some of our younger more tech-savvy staff and interns, it seemed like a great idea to use a blog to provide information, ideas, and resources to First Baptist families. I know of other pastors that have been using this technology for some time already however, it took me until now to see the potential it has for ministering to Christian homes. In short, I am now a "blogger"!

This blog will be updated at least once a week and sometimes even more frequently. It will provide a venue for the Family Ministry Staff to keep members informed of upcoming events and ministry changes, post articles that address family issues, and point out helpful resources that families might want to use. At times, users will be given a behind the scenes look into how the staff is moving in a more family focused direction.

Also, this blog will give parents, grandparents, and guardians an opportunity to make comments and suggestions concerning our efforts to better minister to families. This will provide a much needed two-way line of communication between the staff and church members. The goal is to help families become all that God desires them to be for His glory, and I believe your prayer saturated feedback is essential to fulfilling this goal.

Even though I have written an article for the front of the Encounters this week which promotes this blog, would you help me get the word out? Please, share this information with your friends and other FBC families.

Look for the first article to be posted on Monday morning August 18. Until then have a great rest of the week!!!

David Trent
Elder of Family Ministry