Loving On Another Level

Last week, I and 27 others from FBC-Powell went to New York City to work with the New York School of Urban Ministry during the Thanksgiving Holiday. The ministry opportunities presented to us were amazingly diverse. Our two teams ministered to the homeless by volunteering in shelters and soup kitchens and through street ministry at night. Some went to a hospital for HIV patients and others with chronic illnesses to encourage and pray with them. Some went to a day center for adults with Cerebral Palsy to sing Christmas carols room to room. We distributed Thanksgiving baskets alongside a new church plant in the poorest neighborhood in the Bronx. One group even participated in preaching and sharing their testimonies on the subway system.

After being home for a few days and a considerable amount of reflection, I wanted to share what I believe to be the most important lesson I took away from this trip. I learned that taking time to give a listening ear to someone who is typically ignored, to give a person most people will not even sit next to a compassionate touch on the shoulder, to offer a message of hope in Christ to those without hope, are the most valuable gifts we can give to the poor and disabled.

I have been going through a season of repentance because I have too often taken the easy way out to help the downtrodden. I have written a check here and there to support those who are on the front line of ministry. While doing this isn’t wrong, it is a level of love that is not truly sacrificial. You see, I can write a check without much inconvenience or discomfort. It won’t cramp my lifestyle. But, what about giving a few hours of my time to get to know someone and listen to their hurts and concerns? What about giving numerous hours of time to get to know someone so well that I am positive I know the most effective way to minister to them?

I have come to realize over the past couple of weeks that true sacrificial love is so much more than helping finance a benevolent ministry. It is more than passing out material things like a sandwich or toiletries to a homeless person. The deepest love we can show is by giving our time and attention to individuals that are in many cases forgotten, ignored, and abused. To show the love of Christ means we must go beyond the convenience of giving a few dollars of support. It requires us to give up our time, rearrange our schedules, and even deny our wants and needs for the welfare of others. Few times will this necessitate a financial contribution but it will always cost us some of the comforts and conveniences that we so greatly value.

I am reading Matthew 25:34-40 from a new perspective these days. It says:

“Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

David

How to Protect Your Marriage

Last summer, I tackled a home improvement project that nearly got the best of me. I knew the eight-feet tall privacy fence in my back yard was in pretty bad shape when Sherron and I moved into our current home a couple of years earlier. After making a few repairs along the way, I began to realize that at some point replacing it would be my only option. One day, after a pretty bad storm, I went out back to find a couple of the fence posts had broken and the fence was leaning over against some trees on our property. The time to replace the fence had come.

After finding the style I wanted, I purchased all the lumber and began what became a two-week project of building my new fence. The fence turned out great but building it reminded me that I am not a spring chicken anymore and that I don’t recover as quickly from a really hard day of labor. In thinking of this project, I often use the analogy of building fences in our lives that serve to protect us from sin and temptation. I specifically want to speak today about building fences to protect your marriage from an affair.

A fence serves two purposes. First it protects a person’s property from visual or physical entry by people or animals that do not belong there. Second, it helps provide boundaries that prevent children or pets from leaving the safety of the property. In the same way, setting up fences in marriage helps protect them. They provide barriers from anyone entering that sacred space that does not belong there and helps keep us from wandering outside of its covenant boundaries.

Let’s look at a few fences that can be implemented in a marriage relationship to see what they look like. These are things that every married person should be proactive in building and maintaining to protect their marriage. Here are a few examples.

• Be proactive in understanding and meeting your spouse’s needs unconditionally (Eph. 5:25-29; Eph. 5:33; 1 Cor. 7:3). A general rule for this is that men typically desire respect and physical intimacy and women typically desire love and emotional intimacy.

• Treat your spouse in such a way that they know you value them or someone else will (Eph. 5:22-24; 1 Peter 3:7). Your spouse should feel that you are their biggest fan and that you consider them of great worth.

• Even at the expense of appearing unfriendly, never open yourself up emotionally to anyone other than your spouse. Never spend time with someone of the opposite sex such as taking them to lunch and never share intimate personal information with them (Psalm 141:3-4; James 1:13-15).

• Always look for and acknowledge the best qualities in you spouse and avoid dwelling on the negative (Proverbs 31:10-31; Malachi 2:13-15). We often focus on the personality traits and habits of our spouse that irritate us or cause discomfort. To combat this we must be proactive in looking for, appreciating, and affirming their positive qualities.

• Finally, and most importantly, see to it that your relationship with Christ remains strong and intimate. It is through this relationship that you will find both the desire and the ability to be the spouse God directs you to be (Phil. 2:13 NLT).

In closing, let me say that if you think your marriage is not susceptible to an affair then yours may be one of the most susceptible. Why, because you are the least likely to be proactive in building and maintaining these fences in your life. If that happens, your marriage will go on unprotected and Satan will attempt to send someone into that sacred space that does not belong there. You can “affair proof” your marriage but, like my fence project, it takes time and often great effort to do so.

Glorifying God in Gray Areas

This past year I have had multiple conversations, mostly with young adults, concerning their desire to live holy lives in a fallen world. In those conversations issues such as avoiding legalism, knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate for Christians to be involved in, and are things always black and white with God have come up. These are very imprortant issues with which every Christian must come to terms.

Typically, the Bible contains clear instructions on what a God honoring life looks like and what behaviors and activities most define the Christian life. However, what about those things the Bible does not directly address? I came across the following article on the Grace to You website that I thought would be very useful in helping us navigate through the "gray areas".

If the issue you are wondering about is not specifically addressed in the Bible, then it's helpful to ask these questions from 1 Corinthians to help you in deciding what to do. Asking these questions (and others like them) will help you make a wise decision based on sound biblical principles.

1. Will it benefit me spiritually? First Corinthians 10:23 says, "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify."

2. Will it put me in bondage? First Corinthians 6:12 says, "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything." Any questionable practice that can be habit-forming is not wise to pursue.

3. Will it defile God's temple? First Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body." We should not do anything with our bodies that would dishonor the Lord.

4. Will it cause others to stumble? First Corinthians 8:8-9 says, "Food will not commend us to God; we are neither the worse if we do not eat, nor the better if we do eat. But take care lest this liberty of yours somehow become a stumbling block to the weak." One should refrain from using his freedom in an area which might cause others to sin. For "by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore," Paul said, "if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, that I might not cause my brother to stumble."

5. Will it help the cause of evangelism? First Corinthians 10:32-33 says, "Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of the many, that they may be saved." We must think of the effect any practice might have on our testimony to the lost.

6. Will it violate my conscience? First Corinthians 10:25-29 contains three references to abstaining from a certain practice "for conscience' sake." And Romans 14:23 says, "He who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin." If we are not sure whether an action is pleasing to God, we should not do it. That way our conscience will remain clear and our relationship to God will not be hindered.

7. Will it bring glory to God? First Corinthians 10:31 summarizes all these principles by saying, "Therefore, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

Copywrite 2007, Grace to You, All rights reserved, Used by permission
You can find this article at http://www.gty.org/Resources/Print/Articles/A165

David