Making Wise Family Media Choices

Someone asked me recently if I thought parenting was getting more and more difficult. Without hesitation my answer was “YES!” Though there are several reasons I believe this, my primary concern stems from the bombardment of media choices presented to families today. On a 24/7 basis, visual images and life messages stream into Christian homes through television, movies, music venues, video games, internet sites, books, magazines, and even cell phone usage. Most of those images are harmful and the life messages almost always contradict a biblical world view.

More than ever before, parents must stay informed of what their children are watching and listening to and what is going on in the culture around them. Because of the shear volume of media opportunities this is no easy task to undertake. I have cautioned parents not to go the easy “isolationist” route and simply say no to everything. There are two reasons behind this advice. One is that it relieves the parent of doing the hard work of discipling their children on how to live in a fallen world without being contaminated by it. Two, it can lead to violating the first portion of Ephesians 6:4 which says “And fathers, do not stir up anger in your children.” This can happen through placing unreasonable demands and restrictions upon children.

While there must be limits in every Christian home concerning media consumption, it is always best to have a clearly defined and communicated guide that everyone in the house abides by and understands. The following list of questions can help provide a “filter” for parents to use to help scrutinize media choices and also provide an avenue for discussing those choices with their children. This really helps when parents must say “no” because it shows your child that your decision is not unreasonable but well thought out and purposeful.

Questions to Help You Make Wise Media Choices:

 Would you consider the main characters to be positive role models?
 Does the overall moral and spiritual message contradict a biblical worldview?
 Are real consequences to sin exposed or is sinful behavior celebrated?
 How are relationships and love portrayed?
 How are Christians, religion, the church, the family, and God portrayed?
 Does the language honor God and people?
 If violence is included, how is it presented?
 How much and what kind of sexual activity is implied and/or depicted?
 Are the visual images dark, sensual, or gratuitous?
 Is the media (video games, television, cell phone, internet) consuming too much time that could be used more productively?

In closing, let me caution a couple of things with using this list. First, realize that parents will apply these questions differently while making media choices for their own family. Even using these common questions may result in some parents deeming a media opportunity as unacceptable while others may not. Second, you will never be able to completely shield your child from negative images and messages. For example, you may go to see an acceptable movie at the theater and then be inadvertently exposed to something unacceptable in the previews of coming attractions. The same goes for commercials on television. I suggest you use these times as teachable moments. *Third, some movies, TV shows, or books that may have slightly questionable content may be worth watching along with an older child or teen because it could provide a bridge to speak openly with them about the spiritual implications of the content.

The goal is to teach our children to develop their own media “filter”. We want them to leave our home some day knowing how to live in and engage a fallen world with the Gospel without being contaminated by it.

David

* Added on 3/30 - I felt it might be best for clarity to name a few movies or books that I felt would fall under this category such as: Remember the Titans, October Sky, Bella, The Chronicles of Narnia movies, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, or The Rookie. All these have strong moral and/or spiritual implications that can be used to promote family discussions. Every parent should still discern the value to viewing them as a family and all are obviously too intense for younger children.

Teach Them God's Word

In my estimation, the weakest area of spiritual nurture in the Christian home is parents that neglect their responsibility to teach and explain the Bible to their children (Eph. 6:4; Deut. 6:6-7). There are a few parents I am aware of who make a daily habit of reading the Bible to their children. There are even fewer, I believe, that take the time to explain the meaning and application of what they are reading. As a Christian educator, one of the first lessons I had to come to terms with was just because I was teaching it did not necessarily mean anyone was learning.

While reading the Bible to our children is definitely a worthwhile endeavor, how can we know if they are really learning? Even if memorization is taking place, can we be sure they are able to make proper application of the Word of God? I do think there is a teaching method where parents can be sure they are teaching the Bible fully and accurately and also know that their children are “getting it” as well. That method is teaching through catechism.

What is catechism? A catechism is a short book giving a brief summary of basic Bible doctrine using a question and answer format. Nearly everyone is familiar with catechism as a teaching method whether or not we know the meaning of the term. Most of us learned our addition facts and vocabulary words using this time tested method. Our teacher would ask us, "What is 2 plus 2?", and we would answer, "4". In the context of Bible study, our teacher might ask, "What is the first commandment?", and we would answer, "You shall have no other gods before Me." (NKJV) A catechism is a proven way to transfer important, foundational doctrines into our minds and hearts. (excerpt from J. Dan Boulton’s article Catechism- A Means for Learning and Teaching God’s Word)

Catechisms include teaching on such subjects as:
• The doctrines of God including His nature and attributes.
• The doctrines of man.
• The doctrines of grace, sin and salvation.
• The offices of Christ as prophet, priest and king.
• The Ten Commandments.
• The Lord's Prayer.
• The meaning and place of baptism and communion.
• The doctrines of resurrection, judgment and the Lord's second coming.

The most appealing aspect of teaching children through catechism is the fact that it is so simple. Parents can teach five questions and answers of the catechism at a time until they are memorized, read the accompanying Scripture verses, and in many instances use the content of those questions and answers as the topic of family prayer and praise time.

I am happy to let every parent know that through the Family Ministry, the church is making available, at cost, family devotional kits that utilize catechism material. The primary books we are using come from the Founders Ministry of the Southern Baptist Convention. There are three Truth and Grace Memory Books that are designated for different age levels. Each book contains a different Baptist Catechism with accompanying Scripture verses, Scripture memorization assignments, and the words to great hymns of the faith. One of the best things about these books is that they allow parents to teach and children to learn at their own pace.

You can purchase these books individually ($5.00) or together with the Family Devotional Kits our staff has put together ($24.00). The kits include one Truth and Grace Memory Book, the Family Worship book by Donald Whitney that expresses the theology of family worship, and the Hymns for Kith and Kin accompaniment CD that goes along with many of the hymns printed in the Truth and Grace books. If you are interested in getting any of these resources they will be made available in the church book store located at the Worship Center main entrance beginning Sunday, March 29th.

Grace and Peace,

David

P.S. If you are not a member of First Baptist Church or you attend our Fountain City Campus, let me know if you want any of these resources and I will get them to you.