As I write this article, my family and I are preparing for a much needed vacation at the beach. We like going to Gulf Coast beaches this time of year for several reasons. It is still warm but there are much fewer people, traffic problems, and distractions to deal with. We can truly relax and enjoy spending uninterrupted time together.
You probably really don’t care too much about my vacation plans, but I wanted to share an important event that will take place while my family is together next week. This event has already begun to stir up memories and cause reflection on my part. The event that has caused me to wax nostalgic is the celebration of my youngest daughter’s 21st birthday! I am so glad that our family will be away together to celebrate this milestone in Annissa’a life. It is almost incomprehensible that my baby girl is turning 21.
As I think back over the years that Sherron and I have spent raising our children, I have memories of good times and not so good times, times when I felt like a great parent and times when I felt like a complete failure as a parent. Despite those failures, God has been faithful to see my family through difficult times and to show us that He is in control and works all things together for our good. With that said, I wanted to share a few things that I have learned as a parent. This is not an exhaustive list but it does represent some of the major lessons that I learned, often times “the hard way.”
First of all, as the head of my home, I would have more often made the right decision rather than the expedient or popular decision. I have experienced the Holy Spirit’s conviction and the inevitable consequences that come from not standing firm when facing family and cultural pressure. Thankfully, I can only remember a handful of times that I allowed this to happen. But, even after the passing of several years, those few times are still painful to remember.
Second, I would have been much more vigilant in filtering what came into my home through television and media. While Sherron and I were more diligent than most other parents we knew, I don’t think we went far enough. I am glad that we were parenting during the early days of internet and video game popularity. Today, if a parent does not stay informed and alert, some really bad things can creep into their home. As a side note, where did the idea that children in the home have a right to privacy? I don’t know where the idea came from, but I have spoken with many Christian parents that are reluctant to snoop around and see what their children are watching on television, looking at on the internet, and playing on their video game system. My advice is to get over it, and find out where Satan is trying to invade your home and the lives of your children then close the door tight!
Finally, I wish I had understood how closely my children were watching my daily walk with Christ and how much influence it would have upon them. I know there were times that this influence was very positive, but there were also times it was not. Children watch and learn from their parents. When they see inconsistency between what their parents say and what they do, children recognize it and typically imitate it. Early on in my Christian life, just prior to becoming a parent, my assumption was that if Sherron and I kept our children in church everything would be alright. However, I later came to understand that nothing could take the place of my personal involvement in their spiritual development and the model I set before them to follow.
Well, I have covered some of these same issues in other articles, but thank you for allowing me to be a little more personal. Maybe that is what I like so much about King David in the Old Testament. He set a great example, but like me, many times the example he set was how not to do things. If anyone can get some encouragement or insight from my mistakes, then to God be the glory for allowing it to happen.
Headed for sun and fun,
David
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David,
These are words that we all need to hear; especially in today's world as we are faced with so much opposition to biblical parenting. The world pressures us to accept its standard of parenting, which in no way measures up to the commands that our Mighty God has given to us in raising our children. Ephesians 6:4 says,"...bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." We are to teach our children the ways of the Lord, but we are also to protect them from evil influences. Eph. 5:24 says, "Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." Also, Thess. 5:22, "Abstain from all appearance of evil." We, the parents, are responsible to protect our children from all the evil seductions of our society. We will someday give an account to God for where and what our children do with our permission. We must not be apathetic to the friends our children choose, the tv they watch, the music to which they listen, or the education they acquire. It is our responsibility to be in charge of our children--that's the way God sees it.
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