While doing some research on family ministry, I came across an article written by the seventeenth century English Puritan Rev. Thomas Doolittle. The article was entitled “7 Reasons Families Should Pray.” I think you will find the reasons Doolittle gives for families praying together very relevant to our lives today. Here are the seven reasons:
REASON 1: Because we receive every day family-mercies from the hand of God. He loads us daily with His benefits (Psa. 68:9).
REASON 2: You should pray to God daily in your families, because there are sins committed every day in your families.
REASON 3: You should pray in your families daily unto God, because you have many daily family-wants, which none can supply but God.
REASON 4: You should pray in your families daily because of your families' daily employments and labors. Every one that puts his hand to work, his head to contrive, should set his heart to pray.
REASON 5: You should pray to God in your families daily, because you are all every day liable to temptations. As soon as you wake, the devil will be striving for your first thoughts.
REASON 6: You should pray in your families daily because all in your families are liable to daily hazards, casualties, and afflictions. And prayer might prevent them, or obtain strength to bear them, and prepare you for them.
REASON 7: You must pray to God in your families daily, or the very Heathen will rise up against you Christians and condemn you.
Could anyone say, after reading these seven reasons for family prayer, that it should not be one of the most important activities of family life? I would even say that if you are not currently having family devotions, at least take time to pray together before everyone heads out in different directions. This typically won’t take a great deal of time but it has huge benefits.
Here are some pointers for leading effective prayer time in your home:
Keep it social - Take time to allow each family member to share their personal prayer requests. Even smaller children can articulate their concerns.
Keep it reverent - Don’t allow silliness during prayer time or requests that are not truly heartfelt.
Keep it brief - Remember, your children have short attention spans so many times one sentence prayers for each request is sufficient.
Keep it focused - I have found using a guide for prayer such as A.C.T.S. (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication) can be a useful tool for keeping prayers focused and inclusive of important elements. I often use Praise, Thanksgiving, Confession, Intercession, and Supplication as a guide to my prayers.
Keep it instructional - You are modeling prayer for your children, and they are learning from you how to pray.
Keep it current - Track weekly requests and take time to praise God for answered prayer.
My prayer is that these pointers, and Rev. Doolittle’s seven reasons for family prayer, will challenge you to begin a daily prayer time with your family. If you are already doing this, may they serve as an encouragement to you.
David
Thursday, August 28
The Importance of Family Prayer
Monday, August 25
Parenting With Purpose
Proverbs 22:6 is arguably the best known verse in the Bible on raising children. It says in the ESV, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” It also may be one of the most misapplied verses as well. When I was a young parent and a relatively new Christian, I remember thinking this verse was a promise I could hang my hat on. I believed it was telling me that if I raised my children to walk in God’s way I could rest assured that they would grow up to be godly, well behaved, and productive Christians. I even acknowledged that they might possibly stray some day but, I believed it would only be for a short time before returning to the right path.
Now, as a more mature Christian and better experienced parent, I realize that even our best parenting efforts sometimes do not produce the desired results in our children. So, I was left to answer the question, is Proverbs 22:6 misleading or, do I just need to better understand the nature of a proverb? One commentator I read helped shed some light by explaining, “A proverb is a literary device whereby a general truth is brought to bear on a specific situation. Many of the proverbs are not absolute guarantees for they express truths that are necessarily conditioned by prevailing circumstances.” In other words, a proverb is not a promise. It simply offers practical wisdom about the usual effects of certain actions and attitudes in specific situations.
I do not draw attention to this proverb to discourage parents. Rather, I believe it helps us step back for a moment and evaluate the underlying motive behind our parenting efforts. If raising children that will behave, show respect, and not cause us grief is the primary reason we follow biblical parenting principles, our motives need to be readjusted.
Why should we follow God’s direction to “raise up a child in the way he should go” or to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”? (Eph. 6:4) What should be our primary motive? First and foremost, it should be that God receive glory from our obedience to His instructions and commands. When we, in surrender and obedience, faithfully fulfill the role God has given us as Christian parents, His name is honored. If we do it simply because we might receive the blessing of well-behaved children, it reveals we are seeking God’s gifts rather than His glory.
Wanting to see our children grow up to be godly young men and women is not a bad motive. Wanting peace in our homes that stem from obedient and respectful children is not a bad motive. However, these should always be secondary motives. In addition, when we have God’s glory as our primary motivation, it helps us understand that He is in control of the results anyway. It takes the pressure off of us to produce the results only He can produce. Also, He may choose to use the pain stemming from a rebellious child to further conform us to the likeness of Christ. I hope you see that opportunities abound in child-rearing for God to reveal himself to you and to show Himself faithful in your life.
My closing word here is to follow hard after God as you parent, seek to glorify Him in all that you do, and then trust Him with the results. By doing this you will live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
David
Now, as a more mature Christian and better experienced parent, I realize that even our best parenting efforts sometimes do not produce the desired results in our children. So, I was left to answer the question, is Proverbs 22:6 misleading or, do I just need to better understand the nature of a proverb? One commentator I read helped shed some light by explaining, “A proverb is a literary device whereby a general truth is brought to bear on a specific situation. Many of the proverbs are not absolute guarantees for they express truths that are necessarily conditioned by prevailing circumstances.” In other words, a proverb is not a promise. It simply offers practical wisdom about the usual effects of certain actions and attitudes in specific situations.
I do not draw attention to this proverb to discourage parents. Rather, I believe it helps us step back for a moment and evaluate the underlying motive behind our parenting efforts. If raising children that will behave, show respect, and not cause us grief is the primary reason we follow biblical parenting principles, our motives need to be readjusted.
Why should we follow God’s direction to “raise up a child in the way he should go” or to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”? (Eph. 6:4) What should be our primary motive? First and foremost, it should be that God receive glory from our obedience to His instructions and commands. When we, in surrender and obedience, faithfully fulfill the role God has given us as Christian parents, His name is honored. If we do it simply because we might receive the blessing of well-behaved children, it reveals we are seeking God’s gifts rather than His glory.
Wanting to see our children grow up to be godly young men and women is not a bad motive. Wanting peace in our homes that stem from obedient and respectful children is not a bad motive. However, these should always be secondary motives. In addition, when we have God’s glory as our primary motivation, it helps us understand that He is in control of the results anyway. It takes the pressure off of us to produce the results only He can produce. Also, He may choose to use the pain stemming from a rebellious child to further conform us to the likeness of Christ. I hope you see that opportunities abound in child-rearing for God to reveal himself to you and to show Himself faithful in your life.
My closing word here is to follow hard after God as you parent, seek to glorify Him in all that you do, and then trust Him with the results. By doing this you will live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
David
Thursday, August 21
A Challenge to Men
Before I begin, I want to acknowledge that there are many men at First Baptist Church that are faithfully fulfilling their role as the spiritual leader of their home. They take their God-given responsibilities seriously and, in His power, seek to honor Him through their obedience. For this, I am very thankful!
However, as we embark on this journey to become family focused, I feel it is important that I throw out a challenge to the fathers and husbands who consistently neglect their leadership role. The challenge is to stand up and become the Spirit-filled leader of your home! God has commanded it of you and your family needs it from you. This is an unambiguous issue that calls for either obedience or disobedience. As Pastor Phil said in his sermon Sunday night, “Partial obedience is disobedience; to delay is disobedience; selective obedience is not obedience at all, it is only convenience.” So, unless you have made a settled decision to be disobedient to God, you do not have a choice in the matter.
During my years of ministering to families, men have given me scores of reasons for neglecting their role as spiritual leader of their home. Their number one excuse is that they feel inadequate. Any man who reads the Bible enough to know what God requires of husbands and fathers ought to feel inadequate. Men are commanded in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her., In Ephesians 6:4 Paul says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These two verses alone should reveal to a man that unless he is totally dependent upon the power of the Holy Spirit and the resources He provides, he will be a complete failure at this task!
What does it mean to be the spiritual leader of your home? It means you consistently provide a godly example for your family to follow. In your personal walk with the Lord and in your relationship with them, you model what it means to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). You model sacrificial love and putting the needs of others first (Phil. 2:3-4). You encourage them to develop spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible, study, and worship (Phil. 3:17). You exemplify setting priorities and making decisions according to biblical principles by following that rule in your own life (Psalm 119:9). It is very evident that being the spiritual leader of your home is no small undertaking. But, in what God requires of us, He graciously supplies all that we need to accomplish it.
Every husband and father will stand before God some day and give an account for his obedience or disobedience in fulfilling these responsibilities. And may I lovingly say, no excuse will suffice if these responsibilities have been neglected. If you have not already done so, will you take a stand for God in your home? Will you confess your neglect of your role to God, repent of your disobedience, and then become the Spirit-filled leader your family needs? The spiritual health of your family depends upon it!
David
However, as we embark on this journey to become family focused, I feel it is important that I throw out a challenge to the fathers and husbands who consistently neglect their leadership role. The challenge is to stand up and become the Spirit-filled leader of your home! God has commanded it of you and your family needs it from you. This is an unambiguous issue that calls for either obedience or disobedience. As Pastor Phil said in his sermon Sunday night, “Partial obedience is disobedience; to delay is disobedience; selective obedience is not obedience at all, it is only convenience.” So, unless you have made a settled decision to be disobedient to God, you do not have a choice in the matter.
During my years of ministering to families, men have given me scores of reasons for neglecting their role as spiritual leader of their home. Their number one excuse is that they feel inadequate. Any man who reads the Bible enough to know what God requires of husbands and fathers ought to feel inadequate. Men are commanded in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her., In Ephesians 6:4 Paul says “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These two verses alone should reveal to a man that unless he is totally dependent upon the power of the Holy Spirit and the resources He provides, he will be a complete failure at this task!
What does it mean to be the spiritual leader of your home? It means you consistently provide a godly example for your family to follow. In your personal walk with the Lord and in your relationship with them, you model what it means to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). You model sacrificial love and putting the needs of others first (Phil. 2:3-4). You encourage them to develop spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible, study, and worship (Phil. 3:17). You exemplify setting priorities and making decisions according to biblical principles by following that rule in your own life (Psalm 119:9). It is very evident that being the spiritual leader of your home is no small undertaking. But, in what God requires of us, He graciously supplies all that we need to accomplish it.
Every husband and father will stand before God some day and give an account for his obedience or disobedience in fulfilling these responsibilities. And may I lovingly say, no excuse will suffice if these responsibilities have been neglected. If you have not already done so, will you take a stand for God in your home? Will you confess your neglect of your role to God, repent of your disobedience, and then become the Spirit-filled leader your family needs? The spiritual health of your family depends upon it!
David
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